Follow Me, Follow You
Scott revived the Twitter game inspired by the discovery that Nelly did not follow Kelly Rowland despite recording “Dilemma” together. The first subject was will.i.am, who followed fellow Voice coaches Tom Jones, Jessie J and Danny O’Donoghue, as well as host Reggie Yates. He did not follow Holly Willoughby, but she did not follow him either, producing a balanced if slightly awkward result.
David Guetta’s collaborations were less equal. He followed Ne-Yo after “Play Hard”, Usher after “Without You” and Rihanna after “Who’s That Chick?”, but none followed him back. Jessie J was the exception in the other direction: Guetta did not follow his “LaserLight” vocalist and she did not follow him. Scott and Chris treated the mutual silence as evidence that something may have happened, while accepting that Guetta’s social-media decisions probably did not pass through the version of him used in their imaginary conversations.
On route to Beyoncé
Stacey called while travelling with friends to Beyoncé at the O2. Her innocent text said they were “on route”, prompting Scott to interrupt the excitement and insist that the borrowed French phrase was spelled “en route”. Chris objected that Stacey had written perfectly understandable English and did not deserve a language lecture while heading to a concert.
Listeners pointed out that English had also borrowed words such as entrepreneur and naïve. Another caller then corrected Scott’s own habit of saying “off of”, leaving him exposed to the same kind of criticism. Scott apologised to Stacey and wished the group a brilliant night, but remained unable to let the spelling go.
How does Rihanna walk?
The Wanted’s forthcoming single “Walks Like Rihanna” gave Scott his favourite pop title of the year but created an obvious question. He had seen Rihanna in person and watched videos of her walking, yet could not identify a trademark movement which justified an entire chorus. Stupid Street was therefore asked to describe it.
Some respondents said she walked like an ordinary woman or simply placed one foot in front of the other. Others supplied a limp, a confident high-heeled strut, a goat, a chicken, a graceful gazelle somebody wanted to kiss on the nose, and a giraffe needing the toilet. One answer sounded like “bus” until its author carefully spelled “boss”. Another decided she used feet, legs and thighs like a person who knew what to do with them. The investigation explained almost nothing, but gave The Wanted several possibilities for a follow-up, including “She Laughs Like Adele”.
Chris discovers the West End
Chris had finally seen Les Misérables on stage after loving the film. He was unexpectedly overwhelmed by the performances and began to think his single spoken word in Spamalot need not be his entire theatrical career. Scott admitted he had fallen asleep when seeing Les Misérables with his mother years earlier and had needed the ending explained.
Because Chris could not sing, he looked for another speaking role. Scott invited West End producers to offer one, then discovered that Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was touring. The costume photograph ended that particular suggestion, but not Chris’s new ambition to return to the stage.
Psy and the shortest chocolate challenge
Scott’s Big Thing was Psy’s “Gentleman”. He insisted Chris resembled Psy physically and in his mannerisms, filmed them both wearing sunglasses and planned to let listeners compare the results. Chris rejected the round-face theory but admitted the record had grown on him. Scott was due to interview Psy the following evening and invited sensible questions.
Enter Shikari’s “The Paddington Frisk” lasted only one minute and 16 seconds, leaving too little time for a normal link. Scott gave Chris 60p and challenged him to reach the vending machine, buy a Twirl and return before the track ended. Chris completed the run despite the machine’s slow selection process, turning a remarkably short record into a successful chocolate challenge.
Dan and Phil play Real or No Real
Dan and Phil arrived breathless after witnessing two cars collide slowly in front of their taxi. Humans really were reported to bite people ten times more frequently than rats in Britain, which fitted the group’s greater collective experience of human teeth. Nobody in central New York was permanently within seven metres of a sausage.
Rita Ora had not tweeted herself enjoying a Coke float in a Croydon beer garden. Geri Halliwell really had burst into a pub and sung “Say You’ll Be There” to largely uninterested drinkers. The video matched the wonderfully unpredictable Twitter account Scott and the others had been following. Dan and Scott tied on 30 points, ahead of Phil on 20.
Dan and Phil also unveiled Radio 1’s unofficial video for Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky”. Because the duo had not supplied a conventional promo, listeners sent clips which were assembled into a communal version featuring a dance-off with Greg James, close-ups of his bottom and a substantial amount of tin foil.
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