Mrs Brown’s Boys fans go anonymous
Scott was fascinated by the extreme reaction to Mrs Brown’s Boys. He had never watched it, yet knew it was one of BBC One’s biggest programmes and a permanent presence among the most popular shows on iPlayer. The people who disliked it, however, rarely seemed content simply to change channel. One friend had begun removing Facebook contacts who admitted enjoying it.
The same fury surrounded Miranda. Scott’s flatmate had threatened to reconsider their friendship when it appeared on the television, while another listener knew somebody who abandoned full drinks and walked out of a pub because Mrs Brown’s Boys was showing. A caller said her mother had made her watch an episode and she responded by refusing to speak to her for two days.
One genuine fan eventually telephoned but asked to remain anonymous because of the possible repercussions. The team called him Fernando, concealed every identifying detail and allowed him to declare that he thought the programme was brilliant. The secrecy made liking a mainstream sitcom sound like a dangerous confession, precisely proving Scott’s point about the irrational scale of the argument.
Celebrity encounters at the Tap End
Chris used 24 Years at the Tap End to collect his encounters with famous people across several different years. Before working at Radio 1, he often accompanied Scott to parties connected with television programmes. Scott’s usual routine was to make small talk for ten minutes, collect any available goody bag and leave. The contents rarely matched Hollywood expectations: one bag contained flyers, a badge, a miniature vodka and a tiny pepperami.
A wrap party for the taxi programme Call Me a Cabbie took place in a producer’s kitchen. Timmy Mallett became increasingly lively after a few drinks, while Chris remembered Scott promising that Radio 1 ought to find a place for him. The night ended with Chris calling the cab that took the former children’s presenter home. A National Lottery appearance also introduced Chris to the unseen voice of the balls, although meeting the man behind the voice did not match the Brian Blessed-like figure he had imagined.
During his student-DJ years, Chris worked nights featuring actors, pop stars and reality personalities. Jo O’Meara from S Club blamed him when her backing CD began skipping, which he regarded as an honour because he loved the group. Ron Jeremy’s double bed collapsed during another appearance, earning Chris a complaint from one of the performer’s team even though he had not built it. His friend later handed him a CD to play as Verne Troyer left the stage; only after pressing play did Chris realise it was Skee-Lo’s “I Wish”. Troyer pointed directly at him and Chris was told off again.
Meeting women he fancied had produced its own collection of failures. He offended Cheryl Cole by leaving her a new pen during an interview, told Pixie Lott to leave him alone when she called on his birthday and failed to persuade Eliza Doolittle to accompany him up London Bridge. Rihanna had agreed that a Watford match with him would be a date, but had still not attended. Chris concluded that his time around Radio 1 had at least introduced him to two Spice Girls and every version of the Sugababes, leaving plenty of celebrity mistakes available for future chapters.
The challenge reaches its halfway point
On day three of Hell and High Water, Greg James described a calmer but more monotonous stretch of the Zambezi. The team had to paddle slowly because hippos could remain submerged for several minutes before surfacing without warning. Guides positioned themselves at the front and back of the group, with one banging the side of his boat to make the animals aware of their approach.
The physical strain was building. Everybody’s back hurt, nights in the tents brought little rest, and Dara Ó Briain had woken covered in bites. The prospect of reaching camp only to erect tents and cook again was increasingly bleak. A visit to a nearby village nevertheless reminded the group why they were there.
Melanie C spoke about meeting Grace, a 15-year-old mother with a two-month-old son. Financial circumstances had forced her to leave school, and she worried about both her own future and her child’s. Other children walked two hours to school without breakfast and often ate only once they returned home. The visitors met young people who wanted to become teachers, doctors and nurses, showing how donations could help bring education closer and allow them to support their communities.
The one-pound text song returned as the team again asked listeners to support Comic Relief. Five £1 messages could fund a month’s schooling for a child, while a single donation could contribute to meals, clean water or urgent support in the UK. The song’s cheerful simplicity provided a contrast to the increasingly exhausting reality behind the appeal.
Huw Stephens plays Real or No Real
Huw Stephens returned for Real or No Real. Mariah Carey did not tour theme parks collecting log-flume photographs for an album called Mariah’s Little Log Book, but Shakira really had been rejected by a school choir because her teacher thought she sounded like a goat. Joss Stone was not dating Dick from Dick and Dom, despite the pairing sounding just plausible enough.
Dizzee Rascal really did say he would travel to ancient Egypt if he could go back in time, because he wanted to discover who had built everything. Pitbull, already known by the feature for shielding his PIN and properly ejecting USB devices, was also confirmed as somebody who washed his hands after using the toilet. Huw’s less reliable answers left Scott with a comfortable 50–20 victory.
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