Peter Andre arrives on his own time
Peter Andre arrived late, blaming his confusion on the change from British Summer Time and declaring that he operated on “PAT”, Peter Andre Time. He initially wore his headphones upside down to protect his hair before a signing, then allowed Scott to persuade him to put them on properly.
The previous evening, Peter and his brother Michael had DJed at the Pride of Britain Awards after-party. Scott had also been there and used the visit to discuss Peter Andre’s Bad Boyfriend Club, which he had discovered midway through an episode featuring Peter disguised as an elderly man on a mobility scooter.
Peter explained that women nominated boyfriends whose faults tended to be irritating rather than genuinely terrible. The programme’s team learned where each man would be, then set up a test. In the episode Scott had seen, Peter wore an old-man disguise while an actress playing his granddaughter asked the unsuspecting boyfriend for help with a broken scooter. Once the man approached, Peter accelerated into a tree, was rescued and revealed his identity. The glasses and accent had not concealed him particularly well, but Peter enjoyed the dramatic unmasking.
Grand v. Food and Around the Globe in My Robe
Peter said ITV2 had allowed him to try a different programme format each year, inviting Chris to offer ideas. Chris proposed Grand v. Food, a pensioner version of Man v. Food in which older contestants would face enormous eating challenges, with the meals chopped up or blended when necessary. Peter was the obvious presenter.
He countered with his own idea, Around the Globe in My Robe. Peter would attempt to travel internationally, board aircraft and enter hotels, restaurants and nightclubs while wearing only a dressing gown. The title impressed Scott and Chris, although Peter conceded that the format might become repetitive after an hour. The concept nevertheless followed him through the rest of the interview, with suggestions that his forthcoming concerts could become the Around the Globe in My Robe Tour.
Peter’s album Angels & Demons had been released ahead of a 31-date tour. He was encouraged by its midweek chart position and said the live production would include multiple screens, holograms and stage illusions. Scott repeatedly tried to find a role for the robe and Peter’s elderly disguise among those effects.
I Have Never and Katy Perry’s toilet
The team introduced Peter to I Have Never, with chocolates replacing the usual drinking-game forfeits. Peter admitted applying baby oil to himself, while Chris’s corresponding story came from a university night out. Peter then claimed he had never walked in on Katy Perry in a toilet, before immediately admitting that he merely wanted a chocolate.
He had, however, hugged Perry while she was entering the women’s toilet as he came out of the neighbouring men’s facilities. His initially careful description gradually became an admission that he had placed both legs inside the women’s doorway. Scott then revealed that he had accidentally walked into the same toilet at the Pride of Britain Awards and found Perry there. Their near-identical stories suggested that they had narrowly missed each other.
Beccy said she had never kissed a girl, a claim that allowed Scott to reveal that he had. A hairdresser had unexpectedly kissed her years earlier and Beccy had kissed back. Peter ended the increasingly chaotic game by saying he had never given an interview as good as this one, then made a direct appeal for listeners to buy his album and help it into the top ten.
Annie Mac soaks Chris in Innuendo Bingo
Annie Mac arrived for her first game of Innuendo Bingo after being advised to bring spare clothes. She wore a clean white skirt for the occasion and was warned not to hold back against Chris. The game began with Gemma Cairney discussing Lana Del Rey’s “protruding lips”, but Annie’s delayed reaction meant her first mouthful largely missed its target.
She soon found her range. Come Dine with Me supplied a guest expecting “one great big knob”, while Dragons’ Den celebrated somebody being partial to a bit of sausage. Annie sprayed Chris directly in the face when Alexandra Burke told somebody to polish their helmet, leaving him soaked through his new Christmas jumper.
Kesha described somebody “finger banging my ball of glitter”, Strictly: It Takes Two featured a contestant being drilled on many steps and Point of View discussed a presenter wearing a “buffing coat”. The final clip came from Bargain Hunt, where an auctioneer assessed “Catherine’s little nymph”. Annie laughed so much that she developed a stitch, while her skirt and carefully styled hair survived better than Chris did.
Real or No Real
The day’s final round established that medieval spelling mistakes really were blamed on a demon named Titivillus. It was also true that Harry Potter’s name appeared 18,956 times across the book series and that a raisin placed in champagne would repeatedly travel between the bottom and surface of the glass.
The machine from Florence and the Machine did not work part-time peeling potatoes in a Burton-on-Trent chip shop, and the BBC was not preparing a late-night BBC Three spin-off named Songs of Praise: Too Hot for TV. Chris and Beccy became uncertain about their scores, but settled on 30 points for Chris and ten for Beccy before blaming any errors on Titivillus.
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