The Scott Mills Show celebrates its own Diamond Jubilee
Joe from Harrogate introduced the Jubilee Monday programme with a childhood connection to Elton John. His family had lived beside one of Elton’s homes when Joe was very young, close enough for him to see into the garden from the bathroom. He never met Elton, but believed there was a chance he had tried on an elaborate birthday wig covered with boats and warships after seeing it at the house of the singer’s wardrobe manager.
Chris briefly thought Marvin Humes was marrying Rochelle Wiseman that day, having confused the wedding with the concert at Buckingham Palace. That led him to assume Scott would DJ at his own eventual wedding, an offer Scott firmly declined. Scott recalled drinking too much champagne before a previous wedding set and inexplicably playing James Blunt, while noting that seemingly every television personality, including Danny Dyer, was now advertising a DJ set.
Alongside the Queen’s celebrations, Scott announced the entirely fictional Diamond Jubilee of his own show. He and Chris pretended the programme had been broadcasting for 60 years and introduced favourite features as though they came from different decades of an impossibly long reign. The excuse allowed them to revisit material that had not been heard for some time while maintaining that it had first aired in the 1950s, 1960s or 1980s.
The Dutch florist calls returned first. Unsuspecting florists read back card messages containing lyrics from Nelly’s Hot in Herre, Chamillionaire’s Ridin’ and 50 Cent’s In da Club, turning each order into an accidental performance. Scott was particularly delighted by a florist calmly repeating “They see me rolling, they hate me” and decided the feature deserved another revival.
The show also replayed the Ronaldinho game, including Beccy’s mum shouting the footballer’s name in a quiet library, and Ronaldinho’s own performance of Don’t Stop Believin’. The PR4L supplied a memorable rendition of Ignition (Remix) before an old hotel prank found Scott trying a collection of increasingly implausible aliases while searching for Chappers in Los Angeles. It was a knowingly ridiculous alternative Jubilee, celebrating the show’s real history by adding several imaginary decades to it.
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