Chris becomes Head of Washing
Chris had acquired a new title at home: Head of Washing. His flatmate’s girlfriend had moved in, and because laundry was already his job, he had started washing her clothes too. He was proud of his department, complete with an enthusiasm for large bottles of fabric conditioner, but was beginning to realise that being responsible for someone else’s underwear felt more awkward than the title suggested.
Scott and Beccy argued that Chris had created the problem himself by simply adding everything to the wash. He worried that selectively leaving items behind would look worse, while Beccy maintained that there was no requirement for him to handle anyone else’s clothes in the first place. The debate became even more embarrassing after Chris visited a barber in freshly washed shorts.
At the barber’s, Chris spotted something protruding from the bottom of his shorts and pulled out a lacy black pair of knickers. He explained that they must have become trapped in the washing, but the recovery did little to improve the situation. The moment gave the Head of Washing story its inevitable punchline, and Chris decided he might not be able to return to that barber.
Big Weekend preparations brought out another of Chris’s long-running passions: commemorative T-shirts. He produced a collection from university, holidays and nights out, including designs based on old nicknames, a bar job and a Carl Kennedy appearance. The team uncovered that Chris had once invented a story about getting off with a member of Sugababes in a job interview, and had also used a Watford catering shirt to get into a match early.
The show considered whether Chris should make Big Weekend shirts for everyone, with Scott wary of anything that made them look like a group on a package holiday. Dear Scott and listener messages kept the conversation moving, but the main takeaway was Chris’s combination of questionable schemes and total conviction. In a week about a huge Radio 1 event, the programme still found its centre in a washing basket and one very unfortunate pair of shorts.
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