Laura attempts to secure a celebrity to read out Flirt Divert text messages but spectacularly fails, first trying to trick Scott with fake Brad Pitt clips before eventually resorting to using a voice-changing machine on her own voice.
With Nick Grimshaw away, Scott Mills is covering the Breakfast show. Last week Michael Ball had successfully read out Flirt Divert texts, so the team decides to repeat the feature. Laura is tasked with booking a celebrity but fails to deliver. When confronted, she claims to have secured Brad Pitt reading the texts and plays Scott a clip—but it’s transparently just audio lifted from a Brad Pitt interview or film, with lines about runways and how games are played having nothing to do with Flirt Divert messages. Scott calls her out immediately, and Laura admits she panicked and simply lifted existing Brad Pitt material, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Desperate to save face, Laura promises to deliver an actual celebrity within half an hour. The show fills time by revisiting a feature from the previous day about hilariously bad entertainment reporters, including a notoriously awkward Ball State sports presenter famous for the phrase “boom goes the dynamite.”
When the Flirt Divert segment finally airs, Laura returns with a “celebrity”—herself, using a voice-changing machine to disguise her identity. Scott introduces it with dry resignation. The resulting texts, read in a heavily distorted voice that shifts between accents (Scottish, Welsh, and others), are deliberately terrible. Real flirt texts about Frankie, kissing, arranging meetups, and suggestive evening plans are mangled through the robotic voice effect, creating an absurd segment that underlines Laura’s complete failure to book an actual guest. By the end, she admits no real celebrities are calling back at all.
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