A caller’s hidden magazine collection has mysteriously vanished from under his bedroom floorboards, leading to an awkward mystery involving his girlfriend and her mother — while the team dissects some hilariously misguided voicemail flirtation attempts.
The episode opens with the Flirt Divert feature, where listeners leave voicemail messages attempting to chat up people they’ve met. One particularly cringeworthy attempt involves a man calling a woman with “doc” as a nickname, inviting her for a night out at what sounds like “the ask” or possibly “the ash,” a pub in Stoke — though the entire message is so garbled and awkward that the team spends considerable time trying to decipher what he actually said. Scott and the crew debate whether anyone would ever call such a person back.
The main feature centres on a caller who has hidden a collection of adult magazines under his bedroom floorboard. When he recently went to retrieve them, they’d vanished. He’s now caught in an impossible situation: he doesn’t know whether his girlfriend or her mother (who’s currently staying in the spare room and cleaning obsessively) discovered them. He can’t ask either woman without either revealing his secret or confirming he knows one of them found it. Scott and the team offer minimal practical advice beyond suggesting he pretend they belonged to the previous tenant.
A follow-up call comes from a plumber who’s discovered adult magazines in bizarre locations during his work — wrapped around bathroom pedestals, inside toilets in carrier bags. One magazine even disappeared from a bathroom while he was fetching tools from his van.
The show also features a caller proud of having bought the “Danny Howard Daily” single, which Scott uses as an opportunity to promote the podcast and hint at a musical project he’s working on.
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