Phil DeForce

Only joined a few days ago. What has he/she (sorry!) done to warrant a ban...??

If it's medically OK & recommended then it seems ok, also unless your very unlucky you can't catch a STI by knocking one out...!! ps What's the definition of conceit? Having a w*nk & crying out your own name!

We've got Aled (NB not Haydn from R1) Jones's (ie "Walking in the Air") autograph having met him while recording Songs of Praise at Blenheim Palace a couple of years ago. We just went for a day out and ended up getting dragged into the recording as they were short of people in the front row. Only agreed cause the girls who work on the show were dressed in skimpy top & skirts and their mic packs were dragging down the waistbands for a flash of g-string (lush)! Also dead fit soprano Katherine Jenkins was performing (she would soooo get it!). Anyway, very nice shot of us opening a hymn was broadcast plus a few long shots too so anyone who has met me has by default met a celebrity!

Only six months?????? I spend 8 hours a day, that's a third of my life, maybe 25 years by the time I croak!

I only started reading this thread cos I thought there might be some jokes! As there aint, here's one of my favourites..... It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same village. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family who all congratulated him on his retirement, thanked him for his years of service, and sent him on his way with a gift token for 10 pounds. The second house gave him a bottle of fine 20 year old Scotch whisky. The people in the third house gave him a new fishing rod complete with reels and tackle. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, brought him in, closed the door and gently led him upstairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love making that he had ever experienced. Afterwards, she took him downstairs where she poured him a cup of tea and placed a pound coin on the table beside it. Feeling completely overwhelmed, Pat said "Well, that was an unusual leaving gift, not that I’m complaining!" "Well", she said, " last night I told my husband that today was your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him if I should give you a fiver. He said, 'Nah, f*** him, give him a cup of tea and a quid!'”

Indeed. I shall no doubt buy it for my better half. She's a diary virgin having only just heard series 5 (I removed all the CDs from her car to transfer to iPod so now she's having to listen to the radio). If it's as popular as Bridget Jones' Diary (which my missus loved) then she'll have no complaints. I know they've discussed it on the show but any film of it would be good... How about the very mad Lisa Kudrow to play Laura? And for the "I know" line when she tells him she loves him, Harrison Ford to play Ben...?

How can you say nothing significant going on? She thinks she's knocked up (admittedly we probably all know that she wasn't!), we don't know what's going to happen to Charlotte the harlot, does Ben cop off with the foxy younger sister, does Dad wear tinsel or holly in his topper at crimbo? All valid questions that need answering methinks..! :cool:

Pardon me for being ignorant but Ialways thought diaries ran from 1st Jan to 31st Dec. Why does Laura's suddenly stop in September 1998. I reckon we will see more of this (Crimbo special perhaps - Dad in nightie etc!). Would hate to think we'll never hear from Fox Mary anymore....!! :woo: