Cauliflowers Fluffy had apparently vanished from school assemblies
The show began with a discussion about songs children now sing in school.
Scott remembered assembly staples such as *Sing Hosanna*, *Give Me Oil in My Lamp* and *Cauliflowers Fluffy*.
A teacher suggested school music had moved on, with pop songs such as Jessie J’s *Price Tag* now being used.
Scott was astonished.
The idea that *Cauliflowers Fluffy* might have been retired made him feel as though another piece of his childhood had quietly disappeared.
A teacher recovered the honour of the profession
After Colin’s one-point disaster the previous morning, the Better Days Quiz needed a comeback.
Teacher Luke delivered it.
The chosen date was connected to Superfan Steve’s famous prank involving Cheryl, and Luke tore through the questions.
He answered almost everything correctly and finished with 14 points.
Scott was particularly relieved that the teachers had restored their reputation after the previous day’s collapse.
Chris’s mother-in-law needed the shower
Chris was still broadcasting from his in-laws’ house because of his broadband problems.
Unfortunately, the shower was directly beside the room he was using as a studio.
His mother-in-law wanted to use it.
She had already had to wait the previous day and was now messaging to ask when the radio show would finish.
Chris decided this domestic emergency could no longer be ignored.
He left Scott on his own during the programme to deal with the shower situation.
Scott was suspicious that Chris had chosen an extremely convenient moment to disappear, because football pundit “Showbiz News” was about to arrive — leaving Scott to conduct a football discussion without his usual protection.
Mascot For What somehow worked without Chris
Scott was joined by football pundit Mark Lawrenson for a game in which an anonymous club mascot came on the line.
They could ask only yes-or-no questions and had to identify the team.
Scott, whose football knowledge was limited, started with questions about the practical size of the costume rather than the club.
The mascot was an animal, represented a Championship team and came from the north of England.
Eventually they worked out that it was Preston North End’s Deepdale Duck.
The mascot performer revealed he had been doing the job for more than 25 years.
By then Chris had returned, his mother-in-law having finally had her shower.
Ben’s letter stopped the show in its tracks
The most significant part of the programme came from listener Ben.
Scott had asked people to write honestly to themselves at the age of ten.
Ben read his letter live.
He told his younger self that he would grow up, go to university, make close friends, become a teacher and move to London.
He would also come out as bisexual and meet the man of his dreams.
That boyfriend would become an intensive-care nurse and, during the coronavirus pandemic, would work tirelessly while Ben struggled with isolation at home.
Ben described being stuck in a small London flat without a garden, not seeing friends for months, gaining weight and finding the mental side of lockdown difficult.
But he also explained what the experience had taught him: who mattered, how much privilege he had enjoyed, how resilient he could be and how grateful he was for the people around him.
He even warned his younger self that people in 2020 would post far too many photographs of banana bread.
Ben thanked Radio 1 too
At the end of the letter, Ben directly thanked Scott, Chris and the team.
He said they had been a presence in his life for as long as he could remember and had played an important role before and during lockdown.
He also congratulated Chris on the baby.
Scott and Chris were visibly — and audibly — moved.
They told Ben that being able to read something so personal on national radio was an achievement in itself and encouraged more listeners to write.
The feature had started as a reflective lockdown idea.
Ben’s letter showed it could become something much more powerful.
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