Scott was finally watching the World Cup
England had beaten Panama 6–1 the previous day and even Scott had been drawn into the tournament.
He admitted he had watched the first half and enjoyed the pace of the goals rather than merely tolerating football because Chris liked it.
The transcript mangled Harry Kane’s name in places, but the subject was clear: England’s captain had scored a hat-trick and the country had moved into full World Cup excitement.
Scott became particularly interested in the kind of merchandise which appeared around successful footballers.
That led into a deliberately confused advert for a “Hurricane” walking stick, with the word “cane” creating exactly the sort of Harry Kane pun the show could not resist.
Britain had become a package holiday
The much bigger national story, according to the programme, was the weather.
Britain was properly hot.
That meant ordinary place names needed upgrading.
Cardiff became “Cardifornia”.
Bath became “Bathbedos”.
Pontefract became “Ponte Carlo”.
And Solihull became “Costa del Solihull”.
Listeners kept sending in their own attempts, with varying levels of success.
Scott liked the ritual of British towns suddenly being rebranded as glamorous resorts the moment the temperature passed the mid-twenties.
The worse the pun, the more likely it was to get read out.
Carl Cox owed Chris tequila
Chris had also sent a question to Danny Howard’s interview with legendary DJ Carl Cox.
He wanted to know what appeared on Carl’s rider.
Carl mentioned a particular 1942 tequila and then casually suggested that if Chris saw him in Ibiza, he would sort him out.
That was enough.
Chris treated the passing comment as a binding international agreement.
He now wanted everybody listening to help remind Carl Cox that a tequila meeting in Ibiza had been promised.
The ambition was simple: eventually produce photographic evidence of Chris, Carl Cox and the promised bottle.
Scott understood the risk.
Carl had probably made a friendly off-the-cuff remark and forgotten it seconds later.
Chris absolutely had not.
The office was becoming unbearable
The heatwave also turned ordinary workplaces into sweatboxes.
Scott and Chris discussed how difficult it was to remain civil around hot desks, crowded rooms and people who were visibly suffering in the temperature.
Listeners began sending their local readings alongside more resort-style place names.
The programme had started with England’s biggest World Cup win in years.
By the end, the real national competition was apparently finding the best tropical pun for somewhere on the M42.
COMMENTS