2 Shoes surprise the wedding
Chris is in the United States, so Scott presents alone and recounts arranging a surprise for his best friends’ wedding. After seeing former X Factor duo 2 Shoes, Lucy and Charley, perform at the British Kebab Awards, he decided they would be ideal secret entertainment.
The bride and groom had no idea the pair were coming. Their appearance turns the reception into a miniature pop show and confirms Scott’s belief that a sufficiently committed wedding surprise can begin with a chance encounter at an awards ceremony devoted to kebabs.
Beyoncé loses to Pokémon
Scott watches footage of a concertgoer concentrating on Pokémon Go while Beyoncé performs only a few feet away. Another person nearby is visibly outraged that anybody could ignore such access to one of the world’s biggest performers for a phone game. It is the clearest evidence yet that the Pokémon obsession can defeat even a supposedly unmissable real-life moment.
A listener named Joe has also made a questionable decision. While drunk, he privately declared a mixed kebab with all the sauces and salad to be his Best Thing of 2016. The following day he asks to withdraw the nomination, but Scott explains that the rules do not allow regret. He officially sounds the buzzer, locking Joe’s kebab into contention until 2017.
Sam cannot stop whoing
Caller Sam says the Who Game has escaped the radio and entered his daily life. Whenever somebody uses a dated expression, he feels compelled to respond with an extended “who”. References to vinyl flooring during a meeting about a new-build property and to speed humps as sleeping policemen have both triggered him, and the habit has surfaced at a wedding in front of the groom’s family.
Sam asks Scott for help, but there is no cure available. He is simply welcomed into the growing population of listeners whose ordinary conversations now sound like an edition of the game.
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