The candidate sings for herself
Scott and Chris were still looking for a student-election song that combined genuine talent with genuine campaigning. Jessica, seeking the welfare position at Queen’s University Belfast, had written and sung her own version of Adele’s “Hello” rather than handing the performance to a musical friend.
Her verses covered serious welfare promises before a huge chorus declared that she could provide free condoms and help with sexually transmitted infections. Jessica delivered the lines with enough passion for Chris to wonder whether Ryan Tedder had produced it. She had already won the election and admitted that she cried when the result was announced.
The show also investigated the “Poskers”, an awards event for the pet industry taking place before Crufts. Scott was disappointed to learn that human exhibitors, rather than famous dogs, received the trophies, and felt the organisers had missed an obvious opportunity to use golden bones.
Sir Dossa’s comeback
Chris’s friend Sir Dossa had not released new material for five years, following the show favourite “Bish Bash Bosh”. His return, “Day in the Life of a Geezer”, mixed football references, dressing-room bravado and several lines that neither presenter could confidently explain.
The improved production impressed Scott, while the hook did its work almost immediately. “Day in the life of a geezer” was repeated often enough to turn the comeback into a proper event, and Chris imagined the approving line “better than Drake’s forthcoming offering” appearing on the promotional poster.
Alice Levine joined Real or No Real and was given an early hearing of the record. She knew Sir Dossa from Chris’s previous stories, congratulated the return and accepted that music had once again become his priority after a five-year hiatus.
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