Friends from different worlds
Chris returned from illness but was unsettled by Seann Walsh entering the Radio 1 studio. Seann was his opposing team captain on Virtually Famous, and Chris preferred to keep work friends, television friends and ordinary friends in separate groups.
Scott remembered the panic on Chris’s face when different circles attended the same surprise party. Seann understood the discomfort but thought Chris was creating a much larger problem than necessary.
The previous day’s language analysis had also made Chris self-conscious. When told that he placed unusually strong emphasis on words, his immediate response demonstrated exactly the behaviour Lucy had identified.
Seann Walsh gets soaked
Seann had bought one spare shirt, not appreciating that water would pass straight through both layers. Chris used every insult from Virtually Famous as motivation to soak him.
The clips began with Quentin Willson “beating off groups of buyers” and Radio 4 discussing a giant blue cock on Trafalgar Square’s Fourth Plinth. Sir Bruce Forsyth described coming through the middle of women with their legs apart, while The Archers supplied a guest arriving when somebody had a big job on.
Simon Mayo read that a listener’s wife was partial to blue vein. Lisa Tarbuck’s long springtime discussion of when and how to trim a bush repeatedly caught Seann before he had recovered from the previous spray.
Seann’s emergency clothing was inadequate, but he embraced the game. Chris offered him an unwashed pair of shorts left to dry after Tuesday, an option everybody else considered worse than travelling home wet.
A B&B sounds like Old Scott Mills
A listener watching Four in a Bed became distracted by the name of a Shropshire bed and breakfast. Through the television audio, the repeated references sounded to him like a business named “Old Scott Mills”.
The show replayed questions about the cleanliness, hosts, facilities and night’s sleep, allowing each review to sound personal. Scott and Chris then searched online and read genuine reviews as though guests had spent a weekend inside Scott.
The property rated highly, depriving Chris of the harsher criticism he hoped to weaponise. Scott nevertheless threatened to investigate whether anybody was profiting from his name.
Dev’s Real or No Real
Dev arrived worried that his aluminium-free deodorant was failing. Scott and Chris conducted an unwanted smell test and concluded that he did not smell actively bad, which was less reassuring than Dev wanted.
He then played Real or No Real. Heathrow Airport really used a vehicle broadcasting distressed-bird calls to move wildlife away from runways. Tom Daley genuinely gave his mother a four-day weight-loss boot camp for her birthday, and Sarah-Jane Crawford had once babysat a future member of Mallory Knox.
Scott won the game, while Dev left to prepare the Bella Twins for Twister on his own programme.
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