Radio 1 for a sick day
Listener Katie was home from university feeling ill, which allowed Scott and Chris to place the programme alongside daytime television as part of the traditional sick-day routine. The show, they decided, was the radio equivalent of watching Doctors while recovering on the sofa.
That was merely the warm-up for the day’s more serious question: how far should somebody go to secure the right sausage with breakfast?
Chris brings his own sausage
Chris argued that the sausage was the most important part of a full English breakfast. A poor one could ruin the entire plate, so he had devised a solution: take a sausage he trusted into a café and ask the kitchen to cook it for him.
His first attempt failed. The café would not take an outside sausage into the kitchen. At the next place, however, the owner agreed — even though Chris would still pay the normal price for the breakfast. Better still, the owner offered one of the café’s own sausages as a comparison.
For Chris, this was proof that the idea could work. He and the owner bonded over the importance of sausage quality, and Chris emerged talking as though he had started a movement: change the world “one sausage at a time”. He wanted Scott to join him for another attempt the next day.
Ylvis are coming
Scott confirmed that Ylvis would be on the show on Friday. Bård and Vegard were already known around the world for “The Fox”, but Scott was fascinated by the fact that they were established Norwegian television hosts who had made a deliberately ridiculous song with Stargate and accidentally watched it become enormous.
One request was clear before they arrived: there was no need for anyone at Radio 1 to dress up as a fox.
Famous in Ukraine
The show’s fascination with Meet the Russians and its glamorous Ukrainian pop-star world had now reached Tinder. Listener Hannah had changed her profile to claim, “I’m very famous in Ukraine”, then started telling matches that she had scored a number-three hit in 2007 called “I’ll Believe Anything”.
The lie became harder to maintain when people naturally searched YouTube and failed to find the record. Hannah kept bluffing, turning the dating app into an experiment in how long a completely invented pop career could survive basic questioning.
Scott also returned to the vocal comparison that had occurred to him while watching Céline Dion on X Factor, playing a little of her alongside Kamaliya. The connection made perfect sense to Scott and rather less sense the longer everybody listened to it.
Sara Cox on Real or No Real
Sara Cox joined Real or No Real. The actors who voiced Mickey and Minnie Mouse having been married in real life was true; a StooShe reality-show claim was not; The Killers having once used the name Genius Sex Poets was true; and an apparent Newsbeat item about Chris Smith heading into the jungle was not.
Scott and Sara finished level on 20 points each, a conventional ending to a show otherwise dominated by a man carrying his preferred breakfast meat into cafés.
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