Jedward arrive so early they are put to work
After days of slightly confused arrangements with their mum, Jedward turned up more than an hour before Innuendo Bingo. Rather than let John and Edward sit around, the team put them on the Radio 1 phones as unofficial work-experience staff.
They talked to listeners, read the Financial Times and became entangled in a prank call from Sara Cox’s producer pretending to have a package for Zane Lowe while parked on double yellow lines. The twins debated whether they were in danger, whether the parcel involved an owl and who Zane Lowe actually was before the caller finally escaped.
Scott then sent them to speak to Sara about a possible Live Lounge simply to keep them occupied until the studio was ready.
Jedward versus Chris and Sara Cox
Because two Jedwards against one Chris seemed unfair, Sara Cox joined Chris to create a four-person Innuendo Bingo. Sara and Chris wore red jackets and exaggerated old-school Jedward hair, while John and Edward abandoned their usual high hair because they feared wet product running into their eyes.
The game lost any pretence of control almost immediately. Clips about women pounding away in a gym, something being mounted, a robot called Rimmer and assorted Radio 4, television and sport material sent water in every direction. John became particularly excited, glasses were thrown rather than merely sprayed and Scott repeatedly told everybody to stop chucking water.
By the end the studio looked like a water park. The four players had stopped behaving like two opposing teams and were simply soaking whoever happened to be nearest. Scott called time after one final football clip while Jedward were still talking about tours, eyebrows and almost anything that entered their heads.
The water challenge lasts 73 minutes
The day’s Scott versus Chris ran through the morning. Both men started after seven o’clock having visited the toilet, then drank exactly the same quantities of water and coffee. The first person who genuinely needed to go would lose.
Scott became uncomfortable first. He tried to hold on while the show played recordings of running water and repeatedly reminded himself to be “honest with your body”. At 8.13 he surrendered after one hour and 13 minutes.
Chris therefore won challenge four and levelled the overall score at 2-2. Scott immediately disappeared to the toilet and admitted he had reached the sensible limit of the experiment.
Sharknado divides the listeners
The previous night’s Sharknado broadcast produced exactly the reaction Scott expected: some listeners called it two hours of magnificent nonsense, while others complained that he had persuaded them to watch something terrible.
Scott could not understand the complaints. A film about sharks in a tornado had never promised realism. He was pleased it had trended and was already following possible sequels, although he rejected Stonados as a lazy extension because flying boulders lacked the essential animal element.
—
COMMENTS