Scott sees himself in the One Direction movie
Scott went to the London premiere of One Direction: This Is Us surrounded by thousands of fans, television helicopters and a level of excitement far beyond an ordinary cinema trip. He thought the film itself was genuinely good, particularly the material involving the band members’ families.
His own appearance had become a source of anxiety. Scott had been warned that he featured, and seeing himself on a cinema screen while One Direction fans reacted around him was not an experience he could treat normally.
At the after-party he met several members of the One Direction orbit and managed one classic Scott Mills greeting. Spotting Louis Tomlinson after hearing that Louis had gone home between the screening and party, Scott’s nervous conversational opener was essentially: had he had a bath? He then tried to justify the question by explaining that he knew Louis enjoyed baths and cartoons, which did not make it sound much more conventional.
Matt Edmondson versus the speech jammer
Matt Edmondson already talks quickly, so Scott expected the speech jammer to have a dramatic effect. The delayed return of his own voice slowed him almost immediately.
Scott made the task harder by putting BBC News presenter Simon McCoy on the phone. Matt was supposedly completing an online quiz naming European countries and needed Simon’s help. “My name’s Matt. I’m a DJ at BBC Radio 1” became difficult enough before he even got to the geography.
Simon, with his immaculate newsreader delivery, remained calmly helpful while Matt’s sentences stretched and snagged. The contrast made the call: one voice sounded as if every word had been prepared for a bulletin, while the other was fighting technology just to complete a sentence.
The choice of Simon also revived the show’s affection for his magnificently weary royal-baby coverage. Scott was now amused by a campaign suggesting Simon should be sent to cover any possible panda birth at Edinburgh Zoo.
Huw Stephens appears for Real or No Real
Huw Stephens made a surprise appearance for Real or No Real. The round wandered from Eamonn Holmes and a fictional Kim Kardashian rap to a very real claim that former England cricketer Darren Gough had complained on radio about Liam Payne refusing him an autograph because of digestive trouble.
That final fact sounded exactly like something the show had invented, but it was real. Chris finished ahead of Huw, while Scott turned his attention to the next day’s unusually large guest: Lady Gaga.
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