Phil Taggart plays Innuendo Bingo
Phil Taggart came in hours before his bedroom party with Alice Levine and immediately discovered a practical problem: he had brought no spare clothes for Innuendo Bingo. Chris’s collection of old wet-game clothing was offered as an emergency wardrobe, although neither presenter made it sound especially appealing.
Phil committed anyway, wearing what Scott repeatedly described as a “creepy uncle jacket” over his clothes. The game included women’s football, Saturday Kitchen, Grand Designs Australia, the Radio 1 breakfast show, Big Brother, Come Dine with Me and Rick Stein finding a “beautiful, firm snapper”. Clips about a large deck, keeping something moist and an unfortunate bit of beef ensured neither player stayed dry for long.
Scott pushed them closer together as the game went on and repeatedly encouraged eye contact. By the final Dick Francis clip, water was being fired with enough force to knock Phil backwards. Phil had worried about getting his clothes wet; by the finish there was little point worrying about them at all.
The bedroom party is finally here
Phil remained in the studio to promote that night’s bedroom party, where Scott and Chris were promising their slow-jam set. The contrast with Phil and Alice’s proper music guests was becoming part of the appeal: AlunaGeorge and other DJs would bring credible late-night music, while Scott and Chris intended to arrive with Trevor Nelson voiceovers and records designed to make everybody on the giant bed uncomfortable.
Listeners were encouraged to hold their own bedroom parties and send photographs, whether they were watching alone or had somehow packed an entire group into one room. Nick Grimshaw was also expected to contribute a picture. Scott still feared the joke might fall flat, which by this stage only made Chris more excited about it.
A very unusual wedding present
The team had been shopping for producer Cara ahead of her wedding and admitted that two men entering the particular novelty shop together had been an experience in itself. They had originally intended to buy a couple of funny presents and some flowers, but became carried away when they discovered almost every imaginable household object could be made in the same unmistakably adult shape.
Ice-cube trays, mugs, sticky notes, chocolate, keyrings, inflatable toys and even a hoop-throwing game ended up in the haul. Scott thought the receipt was almost as funny as the presents because the till had printed blunt product descriptions one after another. Cara had wanted little fuss about the wedding, which naturally guaranteed an entire radio discussion about the shopping trip.
Scott becomes the home of football
With Monday’s Radio 1 match approaching, Grimmy confirmed Chris was now safely in the team. Chris’s promise to “kiss my badge” was already being replayed relentlessly, while Scott still felt excluded because nobody sensibly wanted him on the pitch.
Grimmy found a role for him: pundit. Because the game would take place after the breakfast show but before Scott’s afternoon programme, Scott could provide the first post-match analysis on air. He knew almost nothing about tactics or positions but loved the title and immediately declared the show “the home of football”.
Chris, by contrast, was treating the match with complete seriousness. He cared far less about the impressive training ground and swimming pool than the chance to play, and had already identified Olly Murs as his target. Scott prepared to analyse whatever happened with the confidence of somebody who had just learned what a pundit actually did.
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