The local paper makes it official
One week after Chris had been sent to interview Mila Kunis, the video had passed eight million views and been shown by television programmes around the world. He had spent the week being asked to give interviews about his interview, repeatedly describing the experience as “bonkers”. His parents remained less impressed by CNN and Access Hollywood than by the prospect of seeing the story in a newspaper delivered to their Watford home.
The Watford Observer had now printed a substantial article about the viral hit. Its final paragraph also revealed that Chris had telephoned the paper himself because he knew his mother would want to read about it. That made his disguised call as Fernando Alfonso sound less like a feature for the programme and more like a personal attempt to persuade the newspaper to cover him.
Scott called Claire to hear her reaction. She was genuinely excited, planned to buy copies for the grandparents, relatives and neighbours, and confirmed that news on the internet did not have the same impact. She told Chris that she was proud because, “at long last, you’ve done something with your life.” For all the international coverage, the free local paper had finally made the story real at home.
Scott is far too loud in public
Scott admitted that he regularly pointed things out or answered whispered comments at a volume which everybody nearby could hear. In a clothes shop, a friend had quietly drawn attention to somebody’s mullet, only for Scott to respond loudly, “What about his hair?” He remembered similar incidents involving shoes at an airport and accepted that friends often had to tell him to be quiet.
Listeners supplied equally uncomfortable examples. Emily’s sister loudly asked which boy she was hiding from in a supermarket, immediately alerting somebody Emily had been messaging. A member of the programme team criticised a bride’s chosen dress while standing beside her at a fitting, then desperately tried to recover by insisting that it looked perfect on the other woman. Another listener, referring to herself while on a diet, announced “Fatty wants a cream cake” directly behind a customer buying cakes.
The stories convinced Scott that he was not alone, but also that his habit was ruder than he intended. He described the discussion as a form of recovery and promised to work on judging his own volume before another friend was forced to close their eyes and hope the floor swallowed them.
Follow Me, Follow You
The programme returned to the Twitter game inspired by the discovery that musical collaborators did not necessarily follow each other. The first round suggested that the former T4 presenting family had largely remained friendly after the programme ended, although Jameela Jamil and Georgie Okell did not follow each other.
The presenters of Splash! produced a more awkward result: Gabby Logan followed Vernon Kay, but Vernon did not follow her. Beyoncé and Shakira followed neither one another despite recording “Beautiful Liar”, while Justin Bieber followed Mariah Carey after their version of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” but did not receive a follow in return.
The final example was especially harsh. Dido followed Eminem after “Stan” helped transform her career, but Eminem did not follow Dido. Chris had hoped that the importance of the collaboration would make the relationship mutual and added it to the game’s growing list of one-sided celebrity friendships.
Keeping an eye on Justin Bieber
Scott was going to see Justin Bieber that evening after a week of following the circus surrounding his London visit. Bieber had worn a gas mask in public, arrived late for one concert and suffered breathing difficulties during another. A photograph then showed him shirtless in a hospital bed, apparently requiring somebody else to take the picture for him.
Chris accused Scott of being obsessed with Bieber’s movements, including reports that he had visited a nearby McDonald’s. Scott denied being a fanatical follower and said he simply felt that somebody needed to keep an eye on him. He hoped the singer would make it through the evening’s show without another crisis, preferably without the gas mask which Scott suspected was not helping his breathing.
A week of accidental fame
The American coverage had given Chris a collection of new job titles. Reports called him a radio personality, BBC journalist, rookie reporter, internet star, “seasoned radio host”, comedy-team member and “kooky whippersnapper”. Scott marked eight million views with a fanfare and compared the unplanned success with “Gangnam Style”, arguing that a calculated follow-up would destroy the reason the original worked.
Scott also wanted to copy the polished laugh used by Access Hollywood presenter Billy Bush while reading scripted lines. Reproducing the Hollywood technique of speaking and laughing simultaneously proved much harder than expected. Chris remained amazed that a cousin of George W Bush had spent time discussing him on American television.
Scott had experienced a very different kind of public appearance at Exeter College, Oxford, where he spoke about the BBC Three programme he had made on the treatment of gay people in Uganda. Dinner beforehand was held in a 13th-century hall where students wore gowns and portraits covered the walls. He posted a picture because the setting was unlike any normal Thursday-night meal.
Real or No Real with Matt Edmondson
Matt Edmondson remembered advising Chris before the Mila interview to keep talking and never give the guest a chance to stop the conversation. He was delighted that this improvised guidance had become part of a worldwide success. Chris said there had been little extra conversation away from the cameras: Mila was having her make-up finished when he arrived, and he was hurried out while attempting to shake hands with everybody afterwards.
Kesha really had recorded an IQ score of more than 140, putting her close to genius level. Post-it notes had not originally been invented as Christmas decorations, although Matt thought they could still work on a tree, while the first commercial photocopier really was so prone to catching fire that a fire extinguisher had to be kept beside it. A claimed rise in neck injuries caused by the Harlem Shake was false.
Matt finished with 40 points against Scott’s 20, his best result in the game. He left to prepare for a weekend programme featuring Jake Humphrey and a Mother’s Day competition between their mothers, while Scott and Chris brought an extraordinary week to a close.
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