A distant dad gets left in the toilet
The Skype relationships continued with a listener whose ten-year-old cousin spoke to her father in Hong Kong through a laptop. Whenever he tried to tell her off, she moved the computer into the toilet and left him there.
Her mother would hear his distant voice calling from elsewhere in the house and have to find him. Scott admired the child’s discovery that an online parent could be removed from the room without technically ending the conversation.
Why is Pepper wearing pants?
The same caller was repeatedly distracted by her dog Pepper trying to remove a pair of pants. Scott stopped the conversation to establish why a dog was dressed that way.
Pepper was in season. Her owner had adapted the underwear with a hole for the dog’s tail in an attempt to protect the floor, but Pepper had no intention of cooperating. The phrase “in season” and the practical details immediately ruined Scott’s appetite.
The caller moved into her car to stop Pepper pulling the pants off outside. That only created new noise as the dog continued struggling in the back, leaving Scott trying to discuss long-distance parenting while imagining a determined animal escaping from its underwear.
Holly meets the person she replaced
Chris had returned, but Holly’s temporary role had not been formally resolved. Scott brought them together for Emoji Top Trumps, allowing the original and replacement to compete directly.
Holly’s crying-with-laughter face was the world’s second most-used emoji and defeated Chris’s raised hands. Her red heart also beat his beer mug, which failed to enter the top 100 at all. Chris recovered with a thumbs-up in the final round but remained suspicious of a game Holly already understood.
The exchange was friendly enough, although every point gave Scott another opportunity to mention that Holly had managed perfectly well during Chris’s absence.
Birthday preparations and Real or No Real
Scott confirmed that Thursday’s Innuendo Bingo would be a birthday treat for Chris, but refused to identify his opponent. Chris feared the secrecy meant somebody unpleasant had been booked.
Barbara Windsor joined Real or No Real, where facts included Jess Glynne’s mother’s reaction to her number-one single and the Australian term “pash rash”. The game ended with another reminder that the following day’s Bingo was supposed to be genuinely special.
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