Bear Grylls collects remarkable survival stories
Bear Grylls joined Scott and Chris to discuss a new collection of true stories about soldiers, spies, adventurers and other survivors. The short chapters were designed to be read in a few minutes before bed. Among his examples were the doomed Franklin expedition, Shackleton’s Antarctic escape and Aron Ralston cutting off his own arm after becoming trapped by a boulder.
Bear compared human beings with grapes that reveal their contents only when squeezed, or tea bags whose strength appears in hot water. Scott wondered how he and Chris would cope in an emergency. Bear thought their friendship would make them ten times stronger, although Chris conceded that he might eat Scott if survival demanded it—after first checking that Scott was dead.
They also discussed Bear’s adventures with celebrities. He had taken Will Ferrell into the wild and shared a cave with him, cuddling for warmth. A Christmas Day programme would show Charlie Sloth confronting his fears on a wild weekend with Bear, an unlikely partnership that Scott was especially keen to watch.
Making Bear feel inadequate
The programme invited listeners to present experiences capable of making Britain’s most famous survival expert feel inadequate. Sarah had discovered a botfly larva living in her back after travelling in Malawi. Bear countered with the time a bullet ant had to be removed from a crew member’s penis, but Scott and Chris still awarded the first point to Sarah.
Eddie had ridden a rollercoaster naked during a staff party and then helped clean the seats. Bear answered with a naked 12,000-foot skydive alongside Marines, during which a testicle became trapped and strangulated by his harness. His story was more extreme, but the callers were making a strong contest of it.
Jo settled the result by describing the birth of her 8lb 10oz baby in three hours using only gas and air. Bear spoke proudly of his wife delivering their three sons without pain relief, including a home birth, but accepted that the achievement belonged to the mothers. The public defeated him 2–1.
Illinois attempts two Radio 1 favourites
Scott called the University of Illinois’s Dial-a-Carol service, where students sang festive requests over the telephone. He asked Monica for “Walking in the Air”. She did not know it, listened to the song online and then attempted a version before moving onto “Feliz Navidad” with rice shaken between cups as improvised maracas.
Chris chose a far more obscure test: “Wrap Myself in Paper” by Magnus Carlsson. The students eventually located it and tried the chorus while another carol could be heard elsewhere in the room. The performance confirmed that the show’s beloved record had not yet become an American Christmas standard.
Preparing the final festive Bingo
The next morning’s Fearne Cotton Christmas Live Lounge would include the last Innuendo Bingo of the year, staged in a shower rather than the usual studio seats. Scott and Chris were thrilled by the possibility that Bastille might also perform “Wrap Myself in Paper”, turning their running joke into a live festive event.
They were also preparing for a week of breakfast programmes from 6.30am, including Christmas Day and Boxing Day. The planned highlights included Serbia, Lady Gaga, the Russians, Jennifer Aniston, Mila Kunis, Deadline Day and favourite Bingo moments from the year.
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