One last chance to declare anything embarrassing
Scott arrived ready to leave for Serbia with his bag packed. Chris promptly removed it from the studio in revenge for Scott once going through his luggage before a cheap holiday.
He offered Scott an amnesty: write down one item he particularly did not want discussed and Chris might spare it, but everything else inside the case was fair game. Scott spent the next half-hour trying to remember what he had packed and becoming visibly more worried.
When the inspection finally began, it was obvious other people had interfered with the luggage while it was outside. A single flipper appeared despite landlocked Serbia being an unlikely swimming destination. There was also an old photograph Scott had brought in for the Teen Awards, DVDs, pink underwear, a policeman’s helmet and other objects whose usefulness at judges’ houses was questionable.
Scott insisted the important clothes were in there somewhere.
Serbia via an online translator
The show’s other attempt at cultural preparation involved famous English-language song lyrics. They were fed through an online translator into Serbian and then translated back into English.
The second translation produced mangled approximations that were just recognisable enough to turn into a game. Familiar pop lyrics emerged sounding like badly written flat-pack instructions, and Scott and Chris tried to identify the originals for Danny Howard points.
It would not help Scott understand the contestants, but it reinforced the central absurdity of a British DJ flying out to offer musical opinions through a translator.
Everybody keeps mentioning Hostel
Fearne Cotton spoke to Scott ahead of the trip and listeners immediately began asking whether he had seen Hostel. Scott repeatedly pointed out that the horror film was not a documentary about Serbia and that Belgrade was a perfectly normal European capital.
The problem was that even Pierce Brosnan had unexpectedly messaged him “Serbia. Good luck.” Chris regarded the timing as suspicious, which only encouraged the conspiracy theory that Scott was walking into an elaborate television prank.
Chinese Food gets the Alan Dedicoat treatment
Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food” was still lodged in the show’s head, so Alan Dedicoat was recruited to give the viral song his unmistakable announcing voice.
Then Scott finally left for the airport. He had the girls category, a Serbian rock legend waiting for him, a television crew heading into the countryside and no real idea what would happen next.
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