Nihal’s powerful Innuendo Bingo debut
Nihal arrived enthusiastically for his first Innuendo Bingo, although listeners immediately objected to the waterproof jacket he had brought. He removed it and prepared to explain the resulting state of his clothes to Prince Charles, whom he was due to meet later.
His unusually long spray made the game one of the wettest so far. BBC Sussex described eight to ten inches of snow, Sara Cox apologised for a sticky bottom and Chris supplied a clip about somebody going to town on his hands. Bargain Hunt produced an old grinder, while a presenter accidentally claimed there were more living “orgasms” on a person’s skin than there were humans on Earth.
BBC Breakfast observed that everybody ate out, Michael Portillo offered to give something a pull and Dinner Date supplied both a hopeful squirter and concern about the runningness of a pie. By the end, the studio was drenched, Nihal sounded like Elmo when he laughed and Scott declared the game complete carnage.
Chris removes the newly engaged
Facebook’s sidebar had started telling Chris whenever one of his friends became engaged. Rather than congratulate people he had not seen for years, he found himself thinking that another person had completed that stage of life and could now be removed from his account. Scott tried to establish whether this was jealousy, a fear of engagement or simply a strange method of tidying Facebook.
Chris described the deletions as releasing people back into the pond. A listener offered a broader rule: if somebody would not attend your funeral, they should not remain a Facebook friend. Others admitted using birthdays as their prompt, reasoning that anybody they could not be bothered to wish a happy birthday probably did not need to stay on the list.
Lawrence keeps the Brit vote impartial
Scott was again accused of sounding biased while naming the five acts competing for the listener-voted British Breakthrough award. He tried reading Alt-J, Ben Howard, Jessie Ware, Jake Bugg and Rita Ora in different voices, then singing their names, but every version appeared to reveal a preference. The solution was to let Lawrence from Loving the Trolls announce them. His flat, disapproving delivery made it sound as though he disliked all five equally.
Kesha brings the glitter routine to Radio 1
Scott’s history with Kesha stretched back to an interview before “Tik Tok”, when she warned him seconds before going live that she had never done a live radio interview. They had since promised to party, run naked through the New Forest and go ghost hunting, none of which had happened. Kesha arrived jet-lagged, remembered attending the Brit Awards in her gold Trans Am and casually retold the story of using a sink when the toilet queue was too long.
Her stage glitter involved far more preparation than Scott expected. A friend travelled with a bath and a lorry full of glitter, covered her body in baby oil and let her roll around until fully coated. She then remained still for about ten minutes while the oil dried, allowing the glitter to stay in place for the show. Even a lighter version of the routine left trails through hotels and on anybody she kissed.
The same friend’s other duties included appearing in a variety of costumes whenever Kesha needed cheering up. Scott wondered how any of it could be described on a future CV, while Chris spent much of the interview staring at her open-mouthed. Kesha’s own description of her scent, and her proposed shrimp-themed perfume, did little to make the conversation more conventional.
Kesha’s forthcoming MTV series had been filmed by her brother and his friend over two and a half years. She promised an unfiltered record of touring, arguments, breakdowns, parties, relationships and dangerous activities. Its strangest scene involved her drinking her own urine after somebody told her not to, an experiment she had since abandoned because it tasted as unpleasant as expected.
Radio 1 Real or No Real
The presenter-themed Real or No Real continued with several unlikely pieces of Radio 1 history. Danny Howard confirmed that photographs of him playing beach volleyball in Dubai had appeared in a magazine, although the apparently spontaneous holiday scenes were staged. He had even been asked to hold hands with a woman and pretend she was his girlfriend.
Gemma Cairney had not attended a party wearing a Vietnamese python and Jean Paul Gaultier belt, while Fearne Cotton did not organise an Easter gathering for every cat in her village. Chris again had no pen and kept score with scrunched pieces of paper, finishing on 30 points before Scott promised another Tap End chapter the following day.
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