Scott conducts a scientific (if chaotic) experiment to discover how many chocolate liqueurs it takes to push someone over the drink-drive limit, with willing volunteer Laura as test subject.
The show opens with Scott announcing he’s been trying to find takers for a box of chocolate liqueurs sent in by his aunt, only to realize they contain real alcohol. This sparks the central experiment: using a breathalyzer (supposedly the same type police use, complete with smiley and sad face indicators), Scott wants to measure exactly how many of these chocolates Laura needs to eat before registering over the legal drink-drive limit. The concept delights Scott because similar experiments have already been done on Big Brother and Brainiac, but apparently not on Radio 1.
Laura volunteers immediately and takes the breathalyzer baseline test, which registers safe with a smiley face (though the machine confusingly shows “test no” at one point). She then begins systematically eating the chocolates from the first box. By the time she’s consumed about half a box, the breathalyzer beeps, shows “danger,” and displays a sad face with, as Scott notes, “one tear” — suggesting she’s already crossed the legal limit.
The episode also features the ongoing “Big Boobie Cookie” update with Fran, a volunteer eating special F-Cup biscuits supposedly designed to increase breast size. Day eight of the experiment shows positive results: her bust measurement has increased from 34 inches to 35 inches around the biggest part. Scott celebrates hitting their first target measurement.
The show also includes the regular “Flirt Divert” feature, where listeners share voicemails from people who’ve approached them with questionable chat-up lines, to which the show gives out a dummy phone number instead of the real one.
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