Scott sends a florist an elaborate prison escape message to put on a flower card, and amazingly they write every word without question. Plus, Flirt Divert catches some brilliantly awkward chat-up lines, and the team discover a woman even more Welsh than last week’s standout.
The show opens with Scott testing whether McDonald’s staff are contractually obliged to respond “I’m loving it” when customers say it to them — a claim a mate swore was true. They call a McDonald’s and get confirmation it happens, though staff clarify it’s not actually in their contract.
The main event is the florist game, where Scott has been testing what ridiculously inappropriate messages florists will write on flower cards. Today’s target: a prison break scenario. Sending flowers to “HM Prison Strangeways” for someone named Salvatorey, Scott’s message is a masterpiece of criminal conspiracy: “We’re coming to get you out tonight. We’ll distract the guards at midnight. Louis the Pimp will drive a van through the main doors. You’ll be given a key to your cell hidden in your mashed potato at dinner. Make sure you’re out of your cell and ready to go at midnight. Try to remember where you hid the money. See you tonight. Jimmy the Squirrel. PS: Don’t forget to get mashed potato. If you get the chips you’ve had it.” The florist reads it all back without hesitation. Scott then stresses (repeatedly, for legal reasons) that it’s a joke and there won’t actually be a breakout.
Flirt Divert features a man’s painfully direct chat-up line: “I thought ladies like a bit of romance… Just give me a call and we can like have some sex maybe at your house.” The team discuss whether this approach ever works.
The standout moment comes when comparing Welsh accents from Loose Lips. Last week had a very Welsh caller, but this week’s “Barbara” — actually “Quincy” — is somehow even more Welsh, with her accent so thick it’s almost incomprehensible. The team play her back-to-back with last week’s caller for comparison.
Later segments include a Flirt Divert with an awkward message, and a confusing voicemail where someone mentions having their “kipper out” — the team can’t quite work out what he’s actually saying, but it becomes an instant favourite anyway.
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