A festive edition packed with Santa phoning a naughty child, a round of Play Our Christmas Cards Correctly, the perennially popular mince pie joke, and a compilation of 2006’s standout moments including Buckfast Boy and the notorious angry pizza guy.
The show opens with Santa (Scott Mills) calling young Davis, who’s been caught spitting from a double-decker bus at passing cars despite his generally good behaviour and his recent role as a French estate agent in a school Christmas activity. Through Santa’s typically gentle intimidation, Davis promises to behave better and is rewarded with the assurance that presents await if he keeps his word.
The mince pie joke – “Man goes to the doctor with a mince pie up his bottom. Doctor says: you need to get some cream for that” – recurs throughout the show as a running gag. Several callers attempt to explain or defend it, with Justin from Bristol notably confused about why cream would help, leading to a tangent about whether mince pies are served with cheese.
Danny Howard hosts a round of Play Our Christmas Cards Correctly with Natalie, a fashion agent from London. She plays a card-guessing game for tickets to an upcoming Christmas party, remarkably predicting higher and lower cards with uncanny accuracy, securing all five tickets (and the obligation to bring two female and two male models as her plus-ones).
The episode closes with a compilation of 2006’s best bits, including Buckfast Boy – a caller whose obscene enthusiasm becomes a highlight reel – and an extended sequence of prank calls to an increasingly irate pizza shop owner, where Scott calls with absurd requests like “liver and pineapple” pizza and asks the staff to locate his friends supposedly dining there. The pizza guy’s exasperation and bleeped-out frustration provide comic gold throughout.
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