A Cheshire lapdancing club’s broken CD player forces the dancers to endure Radio 1’s conversation instead of music, while Stuart shares disastrous relationship stories and Scott weighs up Kevin Federline’s chances as a rapper.
The show opens with an amusing running gag: a lapdancing club in Cheshire has a broken CD player and is forced to listen to Radio 1. Every time Scott and the team talk, the music stops and the dancers are left standing awkwardly, presumably wishing the presenters would shut up so they can get back to work. It’s a simple but effective premise that gets milked throughout the show.
Stuart, a returning listener who’s already become a familiar presence on the show, updates the team on his love life—or rather, the continued lack of it. There’s no progress with the “bread girl,” and that bridge is firmly burnt. He shares a memorable story about a former girlfriend who wasn’t great with general knowledge. When meeting Roland Rivron, she’d never even heard of the Roland Rivron sandwich (white bread with cheese and margarine—and possibly tomatoes), which led to an awkward moment. The relationship deteriorated further when she’d spoil Neighbours plot points for him via text message, casually quoting daytime TV catchphrases like “I go home with nothing,” seemingly channelling Paul Ross. Stuart preemptively dumped her before she could dump him—a tactic he’s apparently used before.
The show also features discussion of K-Fed (Kevin Federline), Britney Spears’ husband and aspiring rapper. Scott plays a clip of K-Fed’s music and gets expert opinion on his chances of becoming a credible hip-hop artist. The verdict is brutal: his prospects are essentially nil, with one expert comparing him to Vanilla Ice—not a compliment. The lapdancers, apparently tired of the K-Fed segment, switch stations.
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