Following Jeremy Corbyn
Scott finally understood why Chris treated the British Kebab Awards so seriously. The event filled a large London venue with kebab businesses, politicians and dignitaries, and placed the pair on stage immediately after Jeremy Corbyn.
They had written their speech hurriedly at the table on a single card in Scott’s difficult handwriting. The other speakers had been formal, whereas Scott and Chris arrived with kebab puns, a regretted “sheesh” response to somebody asking the room to be quiet, and the knowledge that neither was fully certain how the material would land.
Before presenting the award, Scott announced that Innuendo Bingo would return on Monday 4 April for five consecutive programmes. Guests would include Cat Deeley, Alfie Deyes, Laura Whitmore and Greg James, with a new trailer already online.
And the nominees are
An organiser had assured Scott three times that the nominees would appear on the screen when introduced. He therefore reached the relevant line and waited. Nothing happened. Scott tried “let’s take a look at the nominees”, “the nominees” and “and the nominees are”, stretching the silence until a man hurried over to explain that they had already been shown.
The pair recovered and presented an outstanding-contribution award to Ace Kebab, but listening back produced almost unbearable second-hand embarrassment. Some listeners came close to naming the speech their best thing of 2016; another had to pull over and hide behind the steering wheel.
Rebuilding the Loughborough song
Jen from Loughborough Students’ Union wanted help recreating the success of its old “Naughty Boy” campaign song. Later attempts, including a previous video featuring Scott and Chris, had failed to capture the accidental magic.
They settled on adapting Rihanna and Drake’s “Work”, replacing the chorus with repeated references to LSU and insisting that much of the remaining lyric should make as little sense as the original sounded to them. Jen would sing Rihanna’s part and somebody else could be lightly Auto-Tuned as Drake before the show judged the result.
Greg James played Real or No Real and confirmed his place in the returning Bingo week. Scott then revealed, to Chris’s surprise, that he was away until 4 April. The March run therefore ended with a week’s break before the full return of Innuendo Bingo.
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