A surprisingly kind birthday
Chris arrived to find a cake, favourite songs and birthday messages. The kindness made him more anxious about Innuendo Bingo, because Scott would not reveal who had agreed to play.
The guest was Rachel Stevens. Scott reminded Chris that his 17-year-old self would never have believed he would one day spit water at his favourite member of S Club 7 on national radio.
Chris feared the announcement might be a trick and asked whether Bradley McIntosh would appear instead. When Rachel genuinely entered the studio, he accepted that the birthday had not been designed as a punishment.
Rachel gets involved
Rachel promoted the forthcoming S Club tour before taking the wet chair. She had watched the game and understood that being polite would not help her.
The clips included BBC Newcastle discussing work completed “cash in hand”, an ITV website address which acquired an unfortunate extra sound and Radio 2 presenters talking about knobs, levers, bushes, hedges and blowpipes.
Rachel sprayed Chris freely, used the bin effectively and endured the return fire without trying to protect her clothes. Scott praised how completely she committed to the game. Chris declared her lovely and regarded the experience as an implausibly successful birthday present.
Show and Tell spoils the mood
A listener offered Chris a birthday Show and Tell, then produced footage of a 12-year-old Ryan Gosling dancing confidently in front of an admiring crowd.
Chris already believed Ryan Gosling possessed an unfair number of advantages. Discovering that he had also been a successful child performer did not feel like a gift. The caller apologised but admitted that the video had immediately made him think of Chris.
The Annie Mac non-incident
Chris had seen Annie Mac near the Radio 1 entrance and worried that they had both pretended not to notice one another. Scott believed nothing needed resolving, but allowed birthday privilege to overrule him and arranged a call.
Annie barely remembered the encounter. Chris’s elaborate apology therefore created the impression that he had deliberately ignored her when she had not previously thought that at all. A dropped connection made the conversation more uncomfortable before Annie promised always to say hello in future.
Scott concluded that Chris had transformed an entirely harmless moment into a real problem. Even Annie described the call as pointless.
Henry VIII’s football boots
Greg James played Real or No Real with the birthday boy. Wellard from EastEnders really had also appeared in Gladiator, and historians really had found a payment for football boots made for Henry VIII.
The fact inspired terrace chants about Henry scoring whenever he wanted and speculation that medieval sports equipment was made from ham. It was an appropriately strange final present after Rachel Stevens, Ryan Gosling and Annie Mac.
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