Chris returns
Chris came back after two weeks away for family reasons and immediately inspected everything that had changed. Zane Lowe had left, Fearne Cotton had announced her departure and Holly had begun acting as Chris’s temporary replacement.
Scott insisted Holly had merely supplied a few useful contributions, but Chris had heard the podcasts and recognised where it might lead. Holly’s welcoming tweet, complete with several emojis, did little to make the reunion less awkward.
Chris also caught up on Scott and Vanessa Feltz finishing Fifty Shades of Grey without him, Tom Kerridge’s Innuendo Bingo and Gabby Logan’s game with Rhianna Dhillon. He particularly regretted missing Tom’s collection of meat and nut clips.
Matthew Lewis gets a normal interview
Matthew Lewis returned for the first time since Scott had made him perform fan fiction at the Edinburgh Fringe. Scott apologised for the bizarre stage show and promised that this visit would consist of an ordinary conversation about Bluestone 42.
Matthew did not believe him. A Harry Potter alarm had been prepared instead, sounding whenever anybody referred to the films, wizards or other suspiciously related subjects. It allowed Matthew to acknowledge the series while trying to discuss work he had done since playing Neville Longbottom.
He explained that the third series of Bluestone 42 began at the moment of the previous cliffhanger, with the bomb-disposal team caught in an ambush. The programme’s writers and military advisers worked closely with serving personnel, ensuring that its dark humour laughed with soldiers rather than at them.
Even small errors were noticed. Matthew had once posted a picture with his finger incorrectly placed on a weapon’s trigger and immediately received a lesson in trigger discipline from somebody in the armed forces.
Research at the housewarming
The production team had taken its preparation unusually far. A colleague attended Matthew’s housewarming as a friend of a friend and reported back on his outside beer fridges, candles and gifts.
Matthew’s presents included a year in the life of Pope Francis, which could be read by the light of the scented candles in his living room. Chris remained suspicious of men lighting candles alone after an earlier misunderstanding with his dad, while Scott regarded them as an ordinary part of making a room pleasant.
The interview stayed comparatively civilised. Matthew appeared relieved to leave without another fan-fiction script, although the alarm ensured that Scott had not entirely kept his promise.
Student videos and Real or No Real
Chris caught up on the year’s student-election videos. “Uptown Funk”, “Let It Go” and elaborate campaign slogans had become standard, while George Bradley remained the person blamed for starting the trend.
Greg James then joined Real or No Real after returning from Uganda. Matt Edmondson genuinely travelled part of the way to Radio 1 on a folding scooter, and a medieval weaver called Thomas Blanket really did lend his name to blankets. Confusion over the Canary Islands and a proposed island of “Fornandos” showed that Chris still needed practice after his absence.
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