Chris keeps seeing a mystery man
Chris was becoming convinced somebody was haunting the corridor outside the new Radio 1 studio. For the second day running he had seen a man appear at the window, wave or stare in, then disappear before anybody else could look. The stranger had what Chris described as a surfer-like appearance, but nobody in the production team could confirm seeing him.
Scott was thoroughly enjoying the situation and treated it like the beginning of a cheap mid-2000s horror film. Every time Chris insisted the man had just reappeared, everybody else looked across to an empty window. Chris remained adamant he was not imagining him, which naturally made the rest of the studio even less reassuring.
There was also an outbreak of entirely premature Christmas music. Hayley Williams had played Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” on the breakfast show, prompting a debate about who had the authority to start Christmas on Radio 1. Scott argued that only a few songs, such as Wham!, Slade, Mariah Carey or Wizzard, could truly reopen the season. He was quite happy for Danny Howard to retain his traditional honour of beginning Christmas absurdly early later in the year.
Gemma Cairney returns for an exceptionally wet Innuendo Bingo
Gemma Cairney came back for Innuendo Bingo in an extremely excitable mood and an outfit which was not particularly designed for being drenched on camera. Scott warned her about the short skirt, Gemma admired the show’s new music, and then she and Chris filled their mouths with water for a game which became messy almost immediately.
The clips came from all over BBC television and radio. The Call Centre supplied Nevs and a conveniently placed bush, Antiques Road Trip discussed coming from behind, and Eggheads produced so many variations on “head” that neither player had much chance. A woman on television remembered seeing some very big ones, Richard Madeley needed relieving, and a gardening programme offered careful instructions involving stems, sticks and melons.
By the time Homes Under the Hammer discussed the extent of a worrying bulge, Gemma was soaked and the game was approaching the point where even Scott thought it had become silly. Old favourites returned too: Cavalryman Cowles’s dented helmet, a Home and Away complaint about somebody handling jugs, a barbecue enthusiast whose father-in-law liked to spit-roast anything, and Test Match Special’s relaxed morning in Beavor.
The weather gave the finishing touch when Radio 1’s own sports presenter described buying “a trouser” and covering her leathers with a fleece. Scott looked at the drenched studio and realised there was a practical problem: Hollywood star Kristen Wiig was due in shortly, and somebody now had to explain why the room next door appeared to have suffered a plumbing incident.
One deck is apparently enough for Chris’s wedding disco
The previous day’s wedding crisis had improved, but only slightly. Chris thanked the listeners who had offered equipment and said he had managed to find enough gear to do at least part of the job at Dicko’s wedding. He had one deck, some CDs and not much in the way of lighting.
Scott, drawing on his old mobile-DJ experience, insisted it was technically possible to run a disco from a single deck. The transitions might involve a conspicuous silence while Chris changed songs, but it was progress from the original plan of turning up with little more than a phone. Chris was still considering whether some additional entertainment might be required to prop up the performance.
Kristen Wiig tries not to laugh
Kristen Wiig arrived ahead of Despicable Me 2, and Scott immediately told her that the aeroplane sequence from Bridesmaids was one of the scenes he watched whenever he needed cheering up. That led to a discussion about a surprisingly difficult part of filming comedy: not laughing when everybody around you is trying to be funny.
Wiig said that once she started laughing at a particular point, she could easily lose control at exactly the same moment on every subsequent take. Her solution was physical. She pressed a fingernail hard into her finger to shock herself back into concentrating. The technique had recently been required while filming Anchorman 2 with Steve Carell, when one line repeatedly set her off and held up filming for around half an hour.
She remembered the notorious food-poisoning sequence in Bridesmaids taking several days, with even more material filmed than appeared in the final cut. Anchorman 2 had involved extensive improvisation too. Director Adam McKay would shout alternative lines and ideas during takes, leaving Wiig unsure which version would ultimately appear in the finished film. She was playing a love interest for Carell’s Brick Tamland but could reveal little more before the film’s release.
For Despicable Me 2, Wiig voiced a different character from the one she played in the first film. Scott was surprised to learn how isolated animation recording could be. Although Steve Carell and Benjamin Bratt were also in the film, actors generally recorded separately and performances were animated around the voices afterwards. Cameras captured expressions and physical mannerisms which the animators could then use.
Taylor Swift face, Kardashians and hand doubles
Scott was equally interested in Wiig’s seven years on Saturday Night Live. She described the pressure of creating fresh characters week after week, reaching a point early on where she feared she had already used every voice she could invent. Inspiration could come from a stranger on the subway, a family member, an accent or simply a new way of holding her body.
He then asked her to perform what he called her “Taylor Swift face” for the Radio 1 camera: the wide-eyed, overwhelmed expression Wiig had used while impersonating Swift. She had also played Kris Jenner on SNL and had recently met her. Wiig was pleased the impression had not felt nasty, and the conversation revealed a shared enthusiasm with Scott for the Kardashians and The Real Housewives. Both found something strangely compelling in television episodes in which almost nothing seemed to happen.
Wiig’s busy run of work also included The Spoils of Babylon and Girl Most Likely with Darren Criss. Asked by Scott’s Twitter followers to rate Criss as a screen kisser, she gave him nine out of ten. She explained that actors generally did not rehearse the kiss itself and that the first take could therefore be awkward. On her first ever screen kiss she had even asked a director whether she was supposed to use her tongue, receiving a horrified no.
One final Bridesmaids revelation delighted Scott. The close-up hands making the cupcake were not Wiig’s at all but a hand double’s. It sent the conversation into the strange world of Hollywood body doubles and left Chris wondering whether there might be professional demand for somebody else’s elbows.
Greg James discovers the tricks behind food advertising
Greg James joined Scott for Real or No Real. Johnny Depp really was reported to be a distant relative of Queen Elizabeth II, described in the game as a 20th cousin. A claim that Olly Murs had released 173 singles was false, despite the number briefly sounding plausible after Scott considered how relentlessly successful Olly had been.
BBC political editor Nick Robinson had not accidentally become a ninth member of the G8 by wandering into the leaders’ official photograph. The story did, however, remind everybody of the famous BBC News interview in which the wrong man was ushered into a studio and found himself unexpectedly answering questions on air.
The final claim was true: mashed potato can be used in place of ice cream in food photography because it does not melt under lights. That revived Chris’s fascination with television food tricks and an increasingly confused argument about giant fake yoghurts and ways of creating steam. Scott finished the round on 20 points, with Greg on 10.
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