Scott spills the milk
The breakfast-show week had left Scott increasingly clumsy. After nearly falling on two sets of stairs, he apologised for the previous afternoon’s incident in a Radio 1 café. He and Chris had ordered tea and quiche when Scott knocked over the small jug of milk, sending it across the floor and into both of their bags.
Scott initially announced only that his own bag was wet, prompting Chris to accuse him of typical self-interest. By the following morning the remaining milk was beginning to turn, the bag smelled unpleasant and the incident had acquired the hashtag #ScottSpills. A staff member had inspected the puddle, declared that a cloth would not be enough and returned with a mop while Chris’s quiche went cold. Scott liked the café but felt too embarrassed ever to return.
Real or No Real
Amy, who worked at Heathrow Airport, played an unthemed Real or No Real against Chris. A supermarket was not producing pasta modelled on Lady Gaga’s hairstyles, despite possible shapes inspired by bows and telephones. Graham Norton really had posed nude with two glitter balls protecting his modesty, a picture Scott immediately regretted searching for.
Dubai really did have a Lamborghini police car, apparently to keep pace with the speeds reached by other vehicles in the city. Louis Walsh had not misunderstood his bread bin and used it to dispose of unwanted bread throughout the early 2000s. Chris won 30–20 after switching his answer on the final question.
Hannah visits Hardcore Pawn
Scott’s next television recommendation was Hardcore Pawn, the Detroit reality series about Les Gold’s family-run pawn shop. He introduced Les, his forceful daughter Ashley, sarcastic son Seth and security guard Joe, who dealt with the shop’s more remarkable customers. One claimed to be 2,500 years old, while another arrived before her son’s wedding hoping to raise money after spending everything she had.
Hannah compared the shop with a mixture of Comet, an antiques shop and Cash for Gold. She thought Les resembled a more tanned Tony Christie and suspected some of the confrontations might have been staged, but accepted that this did not stop them being entertaining. She rated it eight out of ten, placing it below Dance Moms but comfortably above Lizard Lick Towing.
The mystery interview arrives
Chris’s three screenings had produced six possible interviewees: Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tom Cruise, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper and Eva Mendes. The interview was set for 11.40 that morning, but Scott still refused to reveal the name or location.
Chris’s preparations exposed the problem. He could tell Paltrow she had a daughter named Apple, inform Gosling that women fancied him and greet Cooper as an “ultimate male”, but had no proper opening for Mendes. He had also fallen asleep during The Place Beyond the Pines, leaving him unable to discuss much of the film if its cast member appeared. Listener suggestions such as asking about a favourite cheese or preferred crème brûlée were little help. His safest emergency question remained whether the star enjoyed visiting Britain.
Chris becomes Dev’s Plan B
The Your Plan B feature spread through Radio 1 when Dev was late for an interview with Ashley Banjo about Secret Street Crew. With about a minute’s notice, Chris applied scent, entered another studio and attempted to conduct the opening from a sheet of questions.
He immediately stumbled over the programme’s title and admitted to Ashley that he was filling in. Dev arrived out of breath, thanked him for stepping up and took back the interview while Chris stayed for moral support. The unplanned appearance demonstrated that the feature could operate inside Radio 1 as effectively as it had at the listeners’ FIFA tournament.
Reality stars’ fortunes
Scott tested Chris with estimates published for reality television stars. Myleene Klass’s reported personal wealth was £11 million, Katie Price’s £22 million and Amanda Holden’s £5 million. Alexandra Burke had supposedly accumulated £6.1 million, Mark Wright £1.2 million and Amy Childs £2.75 million.
Sam and Amanda from Big Brother were put at £1.7 million, while Ashleigh and Pudsey were estimated at £5 million. Scott treated that as further evidence for his theory that Pudsey was really a man inside a dog costume. Paul Potts reached £6 million and Leona Lewis £12 million, leaving both presenters astonished by how successfully some contestants had turned a television appearance into a career.
Sara Cox returns to Innuendo Bingo
Sara had agreed to appear without realising the invitation was for Innuendo Bingo. A photoshoot the previous day had left her hair carefully curled and backcombed, so she arrived without mascara and covered herself with a long leopard-print festival cape. Chris wore a jumper over the new T-shirt intended for his Hollywood interview, which was less than two hours away.
Sara’s own clip opened the game with her saying she was still stiff from riding. A BBC London discussion requested a growler for the webcam, Gardeners’ World introduced the evergreen sarcococca, and Rory Bremner admired an enormous pencil. Davina McCall spoke about somebody really smashing one out, while a Rick Stein clip reunited the chef with the “King of Majorca”, which sounded to Scott like another appearance by Davina.
The Masters supplied a wet ball which did not become easier to grip, Ken Bruce told Lynn Bowles that he might finish her after nine and athletics commentary praised a competitor’s long levers. Vanessa Feltz completed the game with advice about making an entrance as seductive as possible. Chris emerged soaked and still needed to dry himself before leaving for the most intimidating interview of his life.
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