Charlie Sloth plays Innuendo Bingo
Charlie Sloth arrived for his first Innuendo Bingo, introduced jokingly as “Alan Dedicoat off of BBC Radio 1Xtra”. He protected his clothes with one of the sheets normally placed across the studio floor, while Scott warned that he had not brushed his teeth and apologised in advance if Charlie received anything unpleasant with the water.
The clips began with Woman’s Hour finding that somebody had something in her mouth and could not speak. Dinner Date urged a woman to put her back into it, Kevin McCloud admired a good old chunk and Flog It! invited viewers to imagine a spit roast. Charlie’s sheet offered little protection once he and Chris began laughing directly at one another.
Further clips asked whether a gardener cuddled her tulips, described a cyclist leaving the back door open and revisited Nigel Slater’s enthusiasm for a big knob. Radio 4 expressed concern about obesity in the south-east, an actress received a 13-inch gold-plated man and David Attenborough discussed the greatest gash in existence. The game’s most reliable clip, Chris Evans saying he had to knock one off, defeated both players again.
Scott is slow-clapped at the supermarket
Scott suffered what he considered the ultimate checkout humiliation. After spending an hour filling a trolley, he discovered that the supermarket did not accept the particular card he had brought. The cash machine inside the store offered balance checks and receipts but no cash, leaving him unable to pay by any route.
As staff took the trolley away, a man behind Scott slowly applauded and said, “Well done, mate.” Scott objected that the situation was not his fault and had no patience for smug slow-clapping. He compared it with the patronising combination of squeezing somebody’s upper arm, smiling and making an approving noise.
The easiest film quiz ever
Scott tested the scale of Chris’s blind spot for actors and films. Pictures appeared on Radio 1’s website and social accounts, accompanied by a line from each performer. The opening image was Tom Cruise wearing sunglasses. Chris offered Bruce Willis or Jim Carrey and insisted that the close-up and glasses had made the question unfair.
He partly recognised Robert Pattinson as the man from the vampire films but struggled to produce his name. Mila Kunis was easier because Chris knew her appearance and owned a calendar featuring her. He also identified Samuel L. Jackson from his voice and eventually reached Judi Dench. A score of three out of five was better than Scott expected, but failing to recognise two of the world’s most famous film stars confirmed the risk of the plan being prepared for him.
Scott revealed that Chris would be sent to a London hotel on Friday to interview a genuine Hollywood A-lister. The star would be sitting in front of a poster promoting a new film while journalists entered one after another. Chris would not be told the person’s identity until he walked into the room.
Chris tried to guess whether it could be Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro or Kiefer Sutherland. His knowledge remained worryingly selective: he loved Stallone because of Rocky but had never seen Rambo, admired De Niro in Meet the Parents, and did not understand Scott’s reference to the awkward interview scene in Notting Hill because he had never watched that either.
Real or No Real with Greg James
Greg James joined Scott after recalling his own uncomfortable encounter with wildlife expert Steve Backshall. A discussion about reports that Adele demanded pink toilet paper established that the supposed extravagance was readily available in ordinary supermarkets and therefore a poor example of diva behaviour.
In Real or No Real, Charlie XCX did not carry mint imperials in her anorak pocket, but Lady Gaga really did have a fondness for Great Danes and repeatedly placed them in her videos. The director of Müller had not built a home shaped like an overturned Fruit Corner.
Sea otters, however, really did keep favourite rocks in pouches under their arms and use them to open shellfish. The game also considered an invented story about a Great British Bake Off star being caught eating pineapple rings directly from a tin. Scott and Greg finished level on 20 points.
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