Two listeners share bewildering messages from the same persistent online dater whose elaborate, over-the-top first contact email becomes the unlikely centrepiece of the show — set to music for full effect.
The episode opens with Chappers reporting live from Edgebaston during the England v New Zealand one-day cricket match, where rain is delaying play. There’s comedy around the Scissor Sisters accidentally playing over the cricket ground’s PA system, and Chappers reveals he bumped into a viral YouTube celebrity — a man dancing the David Brent style, who’s now received over 16,000 views and is being bombarded with email notifications as a result.
The main feature involves a listener who received an extraordinarily florid, quasi-erotic first message on an online dating site from a man describing himself as a “red-blooded passionate exotic male.” The email is read aloud to comic effect, full of purple prose about taking her “to heaven and back in the bedroom” and references to cudgeling afterwards. Later, another listener — Natalie from Southampton — calls in to reveal she received the exact same email word-for-word, plus a follow-up message about starting a family together. The team decide to set both messages to music performed by a Radio One staffer, creating a bashful rendering of the man’s advances.
Lloyd returns with football facts ahead of Euro 2008 matches (Russia v Sweden, Greece v Spain), offering bizarre trivia like Russia’s law against dirty cars and (questionably accurate) information about Greek customs.
Beccy’s Classifieds rounds out the show with absurd online bargains: handmade bird cages, suspiciously cheap DVDs and games (“come to you within two hours”), a stolen supermarket shopping trolley being swapped for a Twister mat, and a man asking for £5,000 donations to fund his dream wedding.
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