Day 3 of Best Guest Fortnight brings the grotesque spectacle of the Circus of Horrors to the studio, as skin-stretcher Garry Stretch and sword-swallower Hannibal perform their acts live — with the added awkwardness of it all being a radio show where listeners can only hear the reactions.
Scott and the team welcome Garry Stretch and Hannibal Helmurto from the Circus of Horrors, the same troupe that provided last series’ best guest, Captain Dan the demon dwarf. Garry demonstrates his extraordinary natural talent for skin stretching — a result of a lack of collagen — by pulling his neck over his mouth, stretching his stomach skin to hold three pints, and revealing that he can stretch everywhere on his body. The team are visibly disturbed; one camera operator apparently wasn’t briefed on what she’d be filming.
Hannibal shows off his sword-swallowing act, running a sharp-edged sword across a groove he’s created in his tongue and down his throat — casually mentioning he once perforated his esophagus doing this, and that food sometimes comes back up on the blade. He also demonstrates putting his little finger through both nostrils so it emerges from the other side, and pushes a spoon into his nostril until it protrudes from his nose.
Running through the show are lighter segments: a caller named Dan who lives with nine cheerleaders (who don’t mind his girlfriend visiting); a “You’re Sick If You Laugh” story about an Australian crocodile farmer accidentally shot by his rescuing friend; and a follow-up on the previous day’s discussion of blokes joining female-dominated activities to meet girls — including a Swedish massage course attendee and a listener who did ballet at five and could theoretically return. The show closes with a call from Onya in Newcastle, who found her dad’s novelty socks reading “I am too sexy for my socks,” leading Scott to paint an uncomfortable mental picture of her parents’ intimate life.
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