Scott challenges the entire team to acquire a love bite by the start of the next show, leading to hilarious debate about Hoover suction and squash-ball alternatives. Plus: an unlikely Eminem impersonator from BBC Radio Stoke.
The show opens with debate over whether being dumped is a good enough reason to take a day off work, prompted by a listener (Leanna) who called in sick to her shoe-shop job after a breakup. The team discusses the extenuating circumstances—length of relationship, likelihood of reconciliation—before moving on to Flirt Divert, the feature where listeners leave awkward voicemail messages.
The messages include the usual mix: someone with “ongoing modeling video work,” a man performing an early-90s rap-inflected version of Snow’s “Informer” to impress a girl, and various other cringe-worthy attempts. One caller mentions taking a day off work specifically because of a hickey, which sparks the episode’s central running joke: Scott becomes fascinated by love bites and their cultural significance as a visible sign of romance.
The highlight arrives when Scott plays a trailer for Nick Robbins of BBC Radio Stoke attempting to rap Eminem’s “My Name Is” entirely in his own voice—a cardinal sin in rap, as the song requires adopting Marshall Mathers’ signature vocal delivery. Nick’s earnest, middle-aged attempt (“Hi, my name is my name is…”) becomes the butt of jokes about age cutoffs for rapping (Scott suggests 35 is the limit).
This leads Scott to issue an on-air challenge: everyone on the team must have a visible love bite by the start of tomorrow’s show. The team explores various methods—including using a vacuum cleaner (referencing a previous incident involving Laura and a Hoover), improvising with squash balls, or sink plungers—before Scott insists they all find actual people to deliver genuine hickeys. James is conveniently absent in Cyprus. Callers phone in with their own love-bite stories, including Rachel, who accidentally gave her boyfriend a hickey on his forehead.
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