Stuart recounts taking his American friend from Houston to an Apple Day festival on a tandem bike, where she mistook it for a concert by singer Fiona Apple; later, Radio 1’s poshest listeners Hattie and Tatsi call in to discuss the alarming discovery of a fork being used to fish hair out of the bath.
Stuart opens by describing his weekend trip to Apple Day at the Royal Horticultural Society with his American colleague visiting from Houston. He’d picked her up from a hotel eight miles away on his tandem bike (he owns two), though she apparently expected to see American singer-songwriter Fiona Apple rather than an actual apple festival. The event featured talks on topics like how modern apples are sweeter than they used to be and comparisons between different apple varieties, along with tastings of apple derivatives including ciders, juices, chutneys, and pickles served with bread sticks for dipping. Stuart mentions arguing with Peter Duncan at the event, claiming Duncan boasted about inventing the salad bar at pizza.
The Flirt-Divert segment features several answerphone messages from people trying to use the station’s prank number, including one particularly frustrated message from someone convinced the number they were given isn’t the actual flirt line. Scott and the team discuss how giving the flirt-divert to people who know where you live defeats the purpose entirely.
Radio 1’s famously posh listeners Hattie and Tatsi call back in after three years. Tatsi describes moving into a student house and discovering her housemates using a kitchen fork to fish pubic hair out of the bath plug hole—then washing the fork and returning it to the kitchen. The conversation becomes increasingly awkward as Scott tries to explain this is fairly normal student house behaviour, while Tatsi expresses horror at the complete lack of hygiene standards. Scott also plugs Celebrity Scissorhands, a children’s show airing on BBC 3, featuring himself and various celebrities including Steve Strange, whom he describes as the Welsh answer to Cara Delevingne and highlights as a chaotic but endearing hair stylist.
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