Scott sends Laura into a public library armed only with a whoopee cushion, tasking her to get thrown out using the classic fart gag — but the librarians prove remarkably unfazed by her efforts.
In this podcast-era feature, Scott equips producer Laura with a wooppy cushion and sends her undercover to a local public library with a simple mission: get herself ejected using only the sound of simulated farts. Scott briefs her from the studio via phone, describing the wooppy cushion as “the number one toy this Christmas” and noting that while they’d previously sent Laura out with a megaphone and violin, they’re now “dumbing down” with a more traditional gag.
Laura settles into the quiet library, positioning herself near readers and children. When Scott gives her the signal to deploy her weapon, she sits down and lets rip — but the results are underwhelming. Library patrons barely react, offering only curious glances. Scott coaches her to follow up each cushion sound with an apology (“Sorry, excuse me”), which at least prompts one woman to cry with laughter. A small child notices what’s happening, but the staff remain unmoved.
Scott encourages rapid-fire attempts, with Laura trying again and again, but despite genuine effort over multiple rounds, she never quite achieves her goal of being thrown out. The comedy lies not in successfully disrupting the library, but in the disconnect between the chaos they’re expecting and the polite indifference she’s actually met with. By the end, Scott acknowledges she’s essentially failed the task, though not for lack of trying.
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