Scott discovers “The Baby Mindreader,” a genuinely baffling TV show in which a camp psychic called Derek claims to read the minds of babies to diagnose their emotional and behavioural problems — and the results are hilariously dubious.
After series-linking the show by accident (or possibly on purpose — Scott can’t quite remember), he’s become obsessed with it. The premise is simple: Derek, described as “Doctor Dolittle only with babies,” visits families and mind-reads their infants to uncover what’s troubling them. He’s apparently never seen the houses before, yet somehow knows about dodgy doors and leaky roofs. Scott is genuinely torn between believing this is real psychic communication and accepting that Derek might just be making very shrewd deductions.
The episode focuses on a baby called Madison, around 18 months old, who Derek claims is angry because she feels unsupported by her parents and isn’t getting what she needs. Through “mind power,” Madison allegedly reveals her problems: she’s upset about balloons, she wants the house to be tidier (“there’s a place for everything and everything should be in its place” — a phrase no actual toddler would use), she drinks too much fizzy orange and should switch to fruit drinks and grapes instead.
Scott finds this simultaneously genius and absolutely ridiculous. He notes that even children who can actually *talk* don’t say things like that. The real gold comes at the end, when a parent gets genuinely upset during the reading, telling Derek she finds his conclusions offensive and that it’s not about her daughter at all. Derek fumbles, the cameraman tries to defuse it, and the whole thing descends into awkward argument. Scott is completely hooked and has the whole series to work through.
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