Aberdeen and the sun situation
Scott opened Thursday with a message for Aberdeen. The city had apparently not seen the sun for 70 years — or at least it felt that way. In fact, Aberdeen, which is normally one of the sunniest places in the UK, had now gone the longest of anywhere in the country without sun. Kathleen rang in from Aberdeen with the morning update. It had stopped raining, skies might be clear. “It’s coming,” Scott said. “I know it is.”
The ice dancing heartbreak
The night before, Lila Fear and Lewis Gibson had competed in the figure skating ice dance free programme, with a Spice Girls and Scottish-themed routine. Scott and Ellie had both stayed up to watch — Ellie had cried. A stumble early in the routine had knocked the pair from fourth to seventh. “A costly technical mistake,” Lila had called it. “It knocked them from fourth to seventh. Absolutely gutted. Devastated.”
Scott had some technical questions about the event itself. Why was the big light on? “They’re dancing in what looks like the lighting of a hospital ward or a school classroom.” And the sound: “Did you hear the quality? They’ve just hooked up a Bluetooth speaker like you take on holiday.” He strongly suspected someone in Italy had put their phone in a glass to amplify it. Classic Italy. No stress. Relax. He found it charming.
Torval and Dean were there watching in person, he noted, which was lovely but also meant their record stayed intact. “We go again at the Winter Olympics 2030. Back on Bolero watch.”
He also had questions about the luge doubles. Two athletes in Lycra, laid on top of each other, going at 90 miles an hour around ice. Who came up with this? “It feels like something that someone suggested as a dare. One time. Or a joke. Or two people were doing something else on the ice and they had to quickly invent a new sport to cover their backs.”
School pets: the hamster, the gerbil, the stick insects, the tortoise
A message came in asking whether anyone remembered taking the school hamster home for the weekend. This unlocked a significant portion of the UK’s collective memory. Someone’s hamster had chewed through the phone directory and the phone wire. Someone else had taken two gerbils home and woke up in the morning to eight. Emily confirmed she had taken stick insects home and lost them. Someone had a school tortoise; Richard in Paignton was still looking for one he borrowed in 1982. A salamander was mentioned. The general consensus was that none of this should have been allowed.
The Good Morning Minute and the sloppy Valentine’s announcement
It had rained every day this year, 43 days in a row. The Good Morning Minute included Christina in Stevenage planning a sun dance, a PE teacher in Portsmouth growing webbed feet after four hours on a pitch in a tournament, Robin in Aberdeen sitting at the window waiting for the yellow thing to appear in the sky, and Julian from Brickhouse not looking forward to her shingles jab but having already cut the salted caramel brownie for the Valentine’s bake sale without eating any. “You’ve got more willpower than I do.”
Then the team handed Scott a scroll — wax seal and everything — to read aloud. It announced that tomorrow’s Good Morning Minute would be the special Valentine’s Day edition. The sloppy one. The lovey-dovey, cutesy, huggy, soft one. “If you want to tell your darling that you’re head over heels in love with them, totally smitten and doting on them, they’re your sunshine, the light of your life, you’re crazy about them and utterly lovesick — or that you just have a big fat crush on someone.” The word sloppy was deployed multiple times. Scott found it physically unpleasant. “Stop saying it.”
Gary Davis’s ski trips
Following Rick Astley’s revelation on a previous show that he spent a lot of time skiing with Gary Davis in the 80s, Go West had left a comment online confirming they were on those slopes too. Scott asked listeners to guess which other 80s acts were there. Suggestions came in thick and fast: Carol Decker from T’Pau, Baltimore from Tarzan Boy, all of Tight Fit, Nick Heyward. Then an actual text: Ron from T’Pau, “on the slopes about five years ago.” And a former worker from Val d’Isère who confirmed Gary Davis was there all the time with Nick Berry. “What an afternoon at the après that would have been.”
Pause for Thought: three wedding rings
Graham Daniels told the story of bumping into a friend who said she’d been looking at her husband’s wedding ring and thought of Graham. He’d lost his original years ago and now wears a cheap replacement. Her husband had done the same thing — found his original, but now wears the cheapo because it’s safer. And then a third man in the group just silently stuck out his fist: rubber ring. Black rubber. Didn’t say a word.
“Three rings, all very different, all doing the same job,” Graham said. “What’s supposed to count is the relationship. Gold or rubber, expensive or cheap, original or replacement. What’s the point of a wedding ring? Something lasting, circular, love, faithfulness, commitment, endless. But it is a symbol.” The spiritual point: it’s not the symbols you hold on to, it’s whether the love they point to is being lived out. Even when no one’s looking. Especially when no one’s looking. Even if the ring itself is cheap as chips.
Photos to the hairdresser
A listener wrote to the mailbag suggesting Vernon Kay had taken a photo of Professor Brian Cox to his hairdresser and asked for that one. The resemblance had been noticed by quite a lot of people. Scott and Tina opened it up: who has taken a celebrity photo to the hairdresser? Scott admitted he once took a heat magazine photo of The Rachel — “That 90s cross between a choppy shag and a bob, very flicky and layered” — and had it done. Tina, aged 10, took a photo of the Posh Spice pixie cut and left the salon upset that she didn’t look like Victoria Beckham. Ellie had taken in a picture of Nathan from Brother Beyond to Quiffy’s in Eastleigh, but they’d said they couldn’t do it because of the shape of her head. “He had an Elvis quiff. My head was too round.”
Vernon rang in at handover to address the Brian Cox hair situation directly. He’d seen it on the One Show replay that morning via a lady on his train. “Great actor, but not sure I would go into the hairdressers with a picture of Brian Cox.” He was asked if he was going to go full white and let it do its own thing. He is. Also: tanning drops, not grey blending. Very happy with the white top and the volume. “Someone’s been on the Timotei.”
The quiz: Jason the bin man
Jason from Eowyn was the bin wagon driver who played Thursday’s quiz. He gave a firm lecture on bin contamination before starting — no dirty yoghurt pots in the garden waste, do not sort your brown bin, different councils have different colour bins, it’s all very confusing. He did well across the board but ran into difficulty on what DVD stands for: he said “digital video disc,” the answer was “digital versatile disc.” Scott disputed this on Jason’s behalf. “They play videos. I used to watch videos. They should be called that.” The quiz gave the point in the end. Jason finished with 21, equalling Trish from East Yorkshire’s score from Tuesday, meaning Friday’s contestant could go into a potential three-way situation. Jason was dignified about the whole thing.
Sheila Diamond, Little Miss Dynamite
A listener named Donna had written to the mailbag to alert the show to Sheila Diamond. Search her name and you will find her: 4 foot 9 and a half, known as Little Miss Dynamite, working the clubs and hotels of the North West for 34 years and still doing five to eight gigs a week. Scott introduced her with appropriate ceremony.
She still loves it. She gets fans who come from Scotland on the train to see her in Blackpool. She does three outfit changes per show — sometimes more — all heavily sequinned, most of which cannot be washed. (“You can’t wash them.”) Her favourite song to perform live and the one that gets the room going every single time: Red Light Spells Danger by Billy Ocean. By the time Scott signed off with her, her phone was, in her words, going nuts. She texted immediately afterwards to mention she’s at the Ruskin Hotel Blackpool every Thursday and Mark Kelly’s North every Monday. “Can’t thank you enough. Love you, bye.”
Margot Robbie and Alison Oliver on Wuthering Heights
Wuthering Heights — the new Emily Brontë adaptation from director Emerald Fennell — opens in cinemas on Friday. Jacob Elordi plays Heathcliff. Margot Robbie plays Cathy. Alison Oliver plays Isabella Linton. Martin Clunes plays Cathy’s father. (“A moment for Martin Clunes, please. I was not expecting that. Unbelievable.”) Mark Ruffalo is also in it.
Scott wore prop lamb chop sideburns for the interview. (He had called them pork chops. A listener named Jenny had texted in before the interview to correct him. “Someone had to tell you.”) The sideburns were to honour Heathcliff. Their effect was, at best, Noddy Holder in the Slade Christmas video. At worst, Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Both guests were kind about them. “You’re really used to them now,” Margot said. “It would be strange to see you without them.”
On the film: it rains constantly. Not because they planned it — when they actually went to Yorkshire to shoot on the moors, the weather was unseasonably sunny and warm. The locals kept coming up to tell them how lucky they were. They weren’t. They had to recreate all the weather in post. Meanwhile, Alison Oliver and Shehzad Latif, who play the Linton siblings, came to Yorkshire even on days they weren’t needed and spent most of it in the pub. “We’d wrap, text on the group chat — ‘we’re wrapped’ — and they’d reply: ‘We’ve already had three pints.'”
Margot on rain acting: they don’t warm up the water. Not even for Margot Robbie. “Seven weeks of rain scenes on the first Suicide Squad film and it was colder than iced water. I was wearing like nothing as Harley Quinn. You can’t comprehend how cold that rain is.” She’d thought about The Notebook rain scene frequently during filming. She and Alison both admitted to watching Rachel McAdams’ audition tape for The Notebook before their own early auditions. “Just to try and be as good as her.”
On the snails and leeches: Emerald Fennell had very specific feelings about them. The snails needed a rest every 20 minutes. If the temperature shifted by even one degree, filming had to stop. They were taken to a perfectly climate-controlled room to recover. “Humans aren’t treated this well,” Alison said. Margot was in agreement. “The rules around those animals in particular are, yeah, crazy.”
Emerald had also named her favourite slug Felicity. Alison remembered a snail being named as well but couldn’t recall what.
On Wuthering Heights Day: Scott revealed that each year in late July there is a gathering where people dress in billowing dresses and dance to Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights. Both guests had never heard of this. Both immediately wanted to go. “I love doing the Kate Bush dance,” Margot said. “All I need is a red dress.”
Alison, on being cast: Emerald texted to ask if she could send a script. Then: “If you like Isabella, you can play her.” That was it. “The coolest way I’ve ever been offered a part.”
Scott wrapped up by passing on another celebrity message. Kylie, last time Margot was in, had said she’d be honoured to have Margot play her. Margot said she’d do it if she could sing. Kylie had responded that even The Rock would want Margot to play him. The relay continues.
James Van Der Beek
News came through during the show of the death of James Van Der Beek, who played Dawson Leary in Dawson’s Creek, at 48. “I was really quite shocked when I heard the news because I didn’t know that he’d been ill for a bit.” Hundreds of messages arrived from listeners. Ruthie in Wendover was planning a full day of the soundtrack and episodes. Andrea called it “pivotal in my emotional journey as a teenager.” Preet in Stanmore had sat in the car having a little cry. Scott played Paula Cole’s I Don’t Want to Wait.
The birthday game: Tracy from Cheshire, playing Julie Johnson
Tracy was 62, which she was celebrating on the same day as her 32nd wedding anniversary — she’d married on her 30th birthday to make it easier for her husband to remember. They’d just returned from Portugal. She lives with a motorhome, in which the family spent ten months while between houses, waiting for a purchase to go through. She is treasurer of her local musical theatre society and has just been cast as Julie Johnson in Bad Girls the Musical, coming to the Harlequin Theatre in Northwich on 24-27 June.
Three spins: Bart Simpson’s Do the Bartman (1991, no), Owl City’s Fireflies (2010, reluctantly no), and then Mud’s Tiger Feet (1974, an emphatic yes). “I absolutely love it because I do the tiger feet dance at parties. There’s a dance to it.” She celebrated fully. She also used the closing moments to name everyone she shares a birthday with: her friend Audrey, Sally from the musical theatre, her sister-in-law Sheena, and Ruby Millage, who is four today.
The handover
Vernon arrived for Mika in the Piano Room. He’d been told about the Brian Cox hair thing by a woman on his train. He had not gone to the hairdresser with a Brian Cox photo. He did acknowledge a resemblance. The hair was going white naturally, tanning drops applied, no grey blending in years, very happy with it. “I’ll just leave it and let it do its thing.” He and Scott agreed this was the right call. Tomorrow: Tiny Tempah, Sara Pascoe, and Faye from Steps.
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