“It rattled my pot.”
“She nailed her line.”
“His eyes are saying, get this off me now.”
Scott opens with the familiar December traditions — underwhelming Christmas trees, loose reindeer, and even a Lancashire earthquake that “rattled my pot” when he woke up, leaving him feeling “a little bit sick… like being on a Big Dipper.”
He immediately turns to a question for listeners: “Do you put your dog in a Christmas jumper?”
And thus begins a morning-long saga about festive pets.
Tina brings nativity pride and festive mum energy
Tina beams as she recounts Athena’s very first nativity.
“She nailed her line. She looked incredible, and she sang her little heart out… it was the proudest moment of my life.”
Of course, Scott presses on whether she cried:
“Yes, of course I cried… I took about 2 million photos.”
She then reenacts Athena’s impressive line, which she now knows by heart:
“Our tale begins in a land far away where sandals were cool and donkeys were the main form of transport.”
Tina also reveals she bribed Athena with:
“A chocolate ice cream with Oreos on top… and a chocolate milk.”
Her motherly glow continues through the hour — the perfect counterbalance to Scott’s dog-jumper mania.
Scott’s dog jumper confession becomes a whole mood
Scott has bought Teddy an Argyle Christmas jumper… and then a matching jumper for himself.
The photo he shows Tina gets this reaction:
“His eyes are saying, get this off me now.”
Scott admits:
“He hates it because he’s a dog.”
Listeners pile in with their own festive dog attire. One text describes a Staffie who becomes an elf and a Labrador who becomes Santa. Another:
“Do they enjoy it though? I don’t know.” Scott wonders aloud.
His Instagram story hosts the photographic evidence.
Tunis cake moment becomes full 80s nostalgia
After discussing retro Christmas foods on Elder vs. Millennial, Scott brings in a freshly made Tunis Cake, thanks to his friend Linda.
“The first order since 1985.”
He describes the decorations lovingly:
“Pipe icing and what looks like a fruit bowl — that’s marzipan pears, a marzipan banana, and an orange.”
Everyone gathers round to sniff the cake. Pink custard appears. Emilio has never heard of it (“we are old,” Scott says).
The easiest quiz dissolves into newborn-related chaos
Simon from County Durham plays while caring for one-week-old baby Jim, declared:
“Your youngest fan.”
During one question, baby Jim makes a long groaning noise, and Simon hesitates disastrously. Scott explains:
“Even I know they’re not going to let that go.”
The quiz “speaks” to Scott, who announces:
“We’d love you to stay on… but we’re out.”
Simon gets six and delivers a line that touches listeners and Scott:
“You are the friend that you didn’t know you had.”
Messages flood in saying that Simon “made me cry.”
Shirley Ballas dazzles, opens up, and coaches listeners
This morning’s centrepiece is a full, warm, sparkling appearance from Dame Shirley Ballas, who embraces the whole room immediately.
Shirley recounts choking on a fishbone
In a story both dramatic and funny:
“I choked on a fishbone… my feet were dangling!”
Her hair stylist Jane had just learned the Heimlich the week before and saved her.
Shirley admits she thought she “was a goner.”
Strictly instant dance memories
The Instant Dance challenge last weekend was, in her words:
“Chaos backstage… wigs flying everywhere… Claudia came on in a hat she found in the fancy dress.”
She loved it, calling it:
“Magnificent… fabulous… I hope they bring it back next year.”
She also praises Balvinder, who survived multiple dance-offs:
“She is my kind of girl — resilient… great under pressure.”
On her new book “Best Foot Forward”
Shirley explains she wrote a second autobiography because she didn’t have the courage to discuss certain topics in 2019.
She frames each section as a step, like a dance:
“Life is full of pivots… and everyone must learn to rise and fall.”
She reflects on menopause, breakups, reinvention, marriage, motherhood, and the lessons that continue into her 60s.
Her “Shirley’s Shimmers” — advice at the end of each step — include gems like:
“If you’re heartbroken… remember they lost you, not the other way around.”
Interacting with listener Amy (the Shirley impersonator)
Amy performs her Shirley impression live:
“I think you are absolutely fantastic, Shirley.”
Shirley becomes emotional:
“You bring the brightest part to my life during the week.”
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Coaching Daniel for his workplace Strictly
Daniel asks how to stop looking miserable while dancing.
Shirley teaches him her technique:
“Press your little red button on your shoulder… lights, camera, action.”
She tells him to be “flirty,” “musical,” and enjoy his partner Norris.
Lloyd Griffith gets even more spotlight
Lloyd arrives full of energy and dry humour, immediately admitting:
“It’s mad what £6,000 can get for you” — referencing his hair transplant.
On return to paradise (the Death in Paradise universe)
He explains the expanding “Paraverse”:
“Same recipe as Death in Paradise but different ingredients.”
He plays Colin,
“a little fat cop from Lincolnshire,”
his words, not ours.
He spent four months filming in Australia — tough life — joking:
“It’s awful… the weather’s so nice.”
On singing and his choirs
Lloyd reveals he is a trained classical singer, having studied music and sung in choirs.
He’s doing candlelit Christmas concerts in Grimsby and London, complete with SATB arrangements.
Shirley perks up instantly and says she wants to come.
On Strictly dreams
When Scott suggests Lloyd should do Strictly, Shirley immediately agrees:
“We need to get you on the show, sir.”
Lloyd jokes that he’s prepped physically:
“I’ve had laser hair removal on my shoulders and back.”
Scott can’t stop laughing.
The big vocal moment
Finally, Lloyd sings The Holly and the Ivy live. His voice surprises the whole studio. Shirley delivers the coveted verdict: “It’s a ten from me.” Ellie Brennan is genuinely moved.
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