The morning’s oddest story came from a listener in Skegness, who rang in to report that three escaped flamingos had been spotted in a caravan park.
“It’s so wet even the ducks have gone inside.” – Scott Mills
“I’m a vegetarian but I’ll still steal a sausage if it’s emotional.” – Tina Daheley
“If your dog’s wearing a Barbour jacket, it’s not a walk, it’s a press launch.” – Listener text
Rain, rage and wrong shoes
Scott opened the week lamenting the relentless rain that had drenched most of the UK. He revealed he’d worn “non-waterproof” shoes for a fourth consecutive day and declared war on his local puddle: “It’s like a moat – I could host Love Island in it.” Tina Daheley confessed she’d resorted to “emergency Crocs,” prompting Scott to ask if she’d finally given up. “Completely,” she replied.
Listeners piled in with soggy stories – one woman texted to say she’d had to blow-dry her cat, while another admitted she’d used oven gloves as makeshift waterproofs. The funniest came from a man in Swindon who said he’d fallen in a puddle so deep it triggered his Apple Watch’s “swimming mode.”
Flamingo panic in Lincolnshire
The morning’s oddest story came from a listener in Skegness, who rang in to report that three escaped flamingos had been spotted in a caravan park. Scott lost it completely. “If you see three flamingos in Skegness, you’re either blessed or dehydrated,” he said. Tina was crying with laughter as listeners tried to top the madness – one swore she’d seen a llama in a B&Q car park, another said her aunt had adopted a “mystery pink bird” that turned out to be a mop head.
Scott summed it up perfectly: “Britain’s gone full David Attenborough on a hangover.”
The posh dog parade
Midway through the show, Scott introduced the new topic: posh dog behaviour. It started when Tina admitted she’d met a dachshund called Sebastian who “refused to walk on gravel.” Within minutes, the texts poured in. Highlights included:
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A golden retriever called Clive who will only drink bottled water.
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A cockapoo named Darcy who gets daily cucumber eye masks.
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A whippet called Jasper with his own monogrammed raincoat.
Scott’s favourite: “If your dog’s wearing a Barbour jacket, it’s not a walk, it’s a press launch.”
The news blooper and sausage scandal
During Tina’s 8am bulletin, she accidentally referred to “King Charles visiting a ham shelter” instead of a calm shelter, prompting Scott to choke on his tea. “I’m a vegetarian but I’ll still steal a sausage if it’s emotional,” Tina shot back, instantly turning the slip-up into a meme-worthy line.
Listeners begged for a remix, and by the next hour, a listener called Martin from Bristol had already sent in a musical version using Cold Heart by Elton John. Scott promised to play it “at the Christmas party and probably at the coronation.”
Celeb news, nostalgia & accidental oversharing
A game of “Guess the Celeb Fact” turned chaotic when Tina revealed she’d once unknowingly sat behind Jason Donovan’s mum on a flight and asked her to swap seats “because she was too chatty.” Scott admitted he once ignored Les Dennis at a service station because he thought it was a waxwork. “I don’t approach celebrities near toilets,” he said.
Listeners joined in with their own bizarre encounters, including one who accidentally complimented Ed Sheeran’s coat thinking he was a busker, and another who told Davina McCall her “energy drink ad was her best work.”
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