Gloria Estefan leads Scott, Tina, Ellie, Bob and Brian in the Conga around Radio 2’s corridors.
“You could forward-roll into your coffin… but not me, it’s gone.” – Bob Mortimer
“You don’t call it a lecture at these ticket prices.” – Professor Brian Cox
“Sister, surrender the sausage – or you’re going to get strip-searched.” – Gloria Estefan
Bob Mortimer – wit, warmth and pilchards
Scott introduced Bob Mortimer as “the man who can tear an apple in half with his bare hands.” Promoting his new novel The Long Shoe, Bob instantly veered off into a celebration of soft-boiled eggs, ox tongue and other culinary oddities. “I think the king of the eggs is the soft-boiled,” he declared proudly, before admitting his other specialism was “just scrambled – that’s all I’ve got.”
The interview had that trademark Mortimer looseness: half surreal, half tender. He explained that his fictional characters were all versions of himself — “they’re just me, really; write what you know.” Scott flipped open a random page and read aloud the line “I treated myself to a supper of tinned pilchards,” to which Bob replied: “That’s the mood of the book right there.”
When talk turned to the audiobook, Bob said recording it with Diane Morgan and Arabella Weir was “four days of corpsing and chaos – but lovely chaos.” Even his fake celebrity endorsements got airtime: “Ray Leather said it was terrifying, Doug Waffle called it long.” Scott’s laughter practically derailed the segment.
Inevitably, The Traitors came up, and Bob revealed his loyalty to the New Zealand version but confessed this celebrity edition needed “a bit more pace.” He also delivered the morning’s quote-of-the-day about Jonathan Ross’s wardrobe: “I thought he was being attacked… what in the Fred Flintstone is that?”
By the end, Scott was wiping tears from laughter as Bob discussed his dicky heart and conga apprehension: “It’s like riding a bike,” Scott promised. Bob’s deadpan reply: “Yes, except if I try either, I’ll die.” Classic.
Later Tina accidentally said “pilchards” during the news headlines, prompting Scott to scream “You’ve been infected by Bob Mortimer!”
Professor Brian Cox – from Jarvis Cocker to crisp-packet physics
The arrival of Professor Brian Cox shifted the mood from comedy to cosmic, but not by much — the pairing was electric. Scott joked about the diary typo that had Brian expecting to appear with Bob Monkhouse: “Would’ve been impressive,” Cox grinned, “I’d have had to reassess the laws of physics.”
The professor quickly found himself enthralled by Bob’s legendary 1996 Brit Awards story, where Mortimer helped free Jarvis Cocker after the infamous Michael Jackson incident. “I was a solicitor then,” Bob explained matter-of-factly. “I affected his escape from a porter cabin.” Cox, equal parts bemused and fascinated, said it was “the most surreal particle-collision of pop culture and law.”
Conversation turned to science and stagecraft. Cox spoke about his record-breaking lecture tours: “You can’t call them lectures at these ticket prices,” he joked, describing giant 30-metre LED screens showing galaxies and nebulae in full colour. “You never see the universe that big – it’s breathtaking.”
Bob’s curious mind then produced the question of the day: “If I dropped a crisp packet onto a thick cloud, would it sit on top or go through?” Cox’s face lit up. “That,” he said, “is precisely the kind of question that led to the Enlightenment.” He launched into an impromptu explanation about air pressure and condensation layers, calling Bob “the Galileo of the crisp packet.”
Before leaving, Cox previewed his Emergence world tour and revealed news of an interstellar visitor — the 7.5-billion-year-old comet Atlas 3i. “Some online say it’s aliens,” he smirked, “but what a rubbish spaceship – it’s missed us and it’s off again.” Mortimer’s verdict: “Sounds like my fishing trips.”
Gloria Estefan – rhythm, laughter and a Radio 2 conga for the ages
Then came the queen herself. At 8:30 a.m., Scott announced, “She’s here – the queen of Latin pop, Gloria Estefan!” and the studio erupted. The first ten minutes were a masterclass in charm and storytelling. Gloria reminisced about her beloved Dalmatians and how they comforted her after her accident. “They were with me when I couldn’t walk – they healed me.” Bob, a self-confessed Dalmatian lover, nodded tearfully: “I knew I liked you for a reason.”
Gloria spoke of five decades in music (“half a century, not half a decade!” she laughed, correcting Scott) and her dream of one day performing in a free Cuba. Then came the revelation of the morning: she really had turned down the Super Bowl. “Who wants to die at Christmas?” she quipped. “I’d done two already – let JLo and Shakira have their moment.”
She shared stories of mentoring Shakira and writing Whenever Wherever and Let’s Get Loud. “I taught her English lyrics and then she out-Shakira’d me,” she smiled. Tina Daheley was audibly awestruck; even Brian Cox admitted he was “completely star-struck – and I’ve met astronauts.”
Gloria then previewed her husband Emilio’s new-produced album Rey and their musical Basura, based on Paraguay’s Recycled Orchestra. “They make violins out of rubbish,” she explained. “Music transforms everything it touches.” Her passion filled the studio.
Finally, the conga heard ’round the nation: Gloria led Scott, Tina, Ellie, Bob and Brian around Radio 2’s corridors. “Throw off your shoes, go wild!” she shouted as Conga blasted. Cox declared it “one of the highlights of my life.” Mortimer, breathless, said he’d “taken the best spot – right behind Gloria.”
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