Blue Monday? Absolutely not.
Scott opened the week in full rejection mode, immediately binning the idea of Blue Monday and asking for voice notes instead of texts. “I’d much rather hear your voice than just a text,” he said, inviting weekend gossip straight into WhatsApp. He also flagged what the whole morning would orbit around: Dolly Parton’s 80th birthday, promising that his half-hour chat with Dolly would be replayed later because “it just feels right”.
By the time Republica and Beyoncé had done their thing, the tone was set. A listener celebrating their first ever 5K was congratulated, another proudly announced there was “no Blue Monday here”, and Scott made it official: “Yeah, we’re not having that.”
Ellie’s back, AI nearly takes over, and the medical vape returns
Ellie Brennan returned to the studio after being floored by illness, sounding better but admitting she was still tired. Scott revealed that during her absence they’d used “AI Ellie more than we normally would”, before reassuring her that while it can laugh and say “I’m from the north”, she still has “at least a couple of years” before it takes her job.
This spiralled into talk of tonsils, how everyone had them out “in the 80s”, and Ellie revealing hers were “great balls of fire” last week. Tina then brought up Ellie’s steam voice machine, described lovingly as her “medical vape”, prompting Scott to say he once walked in and thought “we had a new pope”. Tina added it was like “Stars in Their Eyes DIY”, with Ellie insisting “a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do”.
The slippers, the jeans, and fashion regret
The conversation drifted — as it always does — into footwear. Ellie admitted she wore her fur-lined shoes into work, which Scott insisted were slippers, regardless of protests. They were described as something you could “put the bins out in”, possibly with socks, definitely with granddad energy.
After admitting everyone in the office had been staring at her feet because they’d heard the show, Ellie announced the slippers had now been “banished from public life”. They are now strictly house-only. Fashion chat escalated further with the return of skinny jeans, carrot jeans, barrel jeans, and — worst of all — the ballet pump. Ellie recalled needing spare socks when visiting people because “your feet would smell so bad”, with Scott agreeing January was absolutely not ballet pump season.
Singing names, listener messages and zero tolerance for misery
After Sabrina Carpenter, listeners messaged in about slippers having USB-C chargers, ballet pumps making toes curl, and accusations that Ellie suspiciously took time off when snooker was on. Scott shut that down immediately.
Whitney Houston led into a moment where Ellie suggested singing your name to “I’m Every Woman”, which worked perfectly for “I’m Ellie Brennan” and “Aunt Tina Dehealy” but absolutely did not work for Scott, who declared, “It’s my song, guys.”
Scott then formally declared the show the happiest place on the radio and asked for clips that always make people laugh. Blue Monday was “a load of rubbish” and they were “banishing the blues” regardless.
Old clips, Tony, and AI Ellie meltdown
Listener requests poured in, including the infamous Tony from the quiz — “What was your name again?” — which Scott replayed with delight. Another favourite emerged quickly: the mocked-up AI Ellie clip, particularly Tina’s reaction. Scott reintroduced it by reminding everyone they joke AI will take their jobs, before replaying Tina completely losing it and Scott pleading, “Tina, it’s not that funny, my job’s at stake here.”
Scott noted he could still see Tina on the newsroom camera laughing afterwards.
Good Morning Minute only, thank you very much
Scott then demanded a “really good” Good Morning Minute. No complaints allowed. What followed was exactly that: tax returns completed, new schools started, braces coming off, brownies baked, swimming lessons, retirement plans, coffee, dogs, grandchildren, and wedding dress shopping. Scott noted the sky was already getting lighter and said, “brighter days are coming”.
Pause for Thought: Mum, eyes, and quiet tears
Rabbi Miriam Laurie joined for Pause for Thought, sharing a story about her optometrist mum, childhood mischief during eye tests, and how her mother had just retired after nearly 40 years. Miriam spoke about eyesight, listening, and care, saying her mum helped patients far beyond the appointment time. Scott quietly reacted throughout, ending with, “I love that you didn’t tell your mum about this,” before admitting his own recent eye test had blurred into endless “one or two… similar… three or four”.
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