Distracting DJs

[Riz]

<b>He's back!</b>

The Lord is back. He's alive and well, contrary to popular belief, and refreshed after his weeks holiday in France with his Dad. Aww.

<b> Scott is Alive: PROOF!</b>

Scott's annoyed at Chappers for making everyone think he's dead, and quite rightly so in my books.It was on the news in Fance and everything, and Chappers was actually worried for a moment or two (not too long though). He is sure though, it was Scott who started the rumours, you know how his ego goes, he always wants it to be about him, positive or otherwise!

<b>Scott's Parents are Right Hotties</b>

Scott's mum has been ringing Chappers. He sent her flowers thanking her for "some things" (notive he never actually clarifies what those things are, probably for the best...) It's all kinds of wrong, exactly what Scott says. Theres a rule between friends: no sisters, no mothers. Chappers has clearly stepped over the line. Talking of Scott's parents, Laura thinks his Dad is lush. Looks like Bruce Willis apparently. If Scott's dad looks as what Laura has descibed, and his mum is such a hottie, where on earth did Scott get his looks from? He's obviously the illegitimate love child.

<b>Scott, Shane Ward and Prince... For One Night Only</b>

Scott's off to see Prince tonight, and no matter what anyone tells you, it IS a date. Scott denies it, obviously, but we all know thats his style. Chappers has got proof, because whenever Scott wants to take someone out on a date, he gets someone else to organise it for him, like he has done this time. You did hear right on the radio today, yes, he is indeed going to the Prince gig with Shane Ward. Add a bit of wine into the night and who knows where it will go.*

<b>Where's Scott</b>

*Silence* Suburban Knights just been played, and its complete silence. Has Dave taken Radio off the air again? No, Scott has gotten stuck in the mens toilets. Out of the 3 trained professional in the room, not one of them had the common sense to put on another record. Instead, theres silence for a minute or two, then a random call from Scott chasing a girl down the street is being payed, something that was queued up for later in the show. For 6 years that lock in the toilet has been broken: Dave Pearce, Chappers and Rachel from the Chris Moyles Show have all gotten stuck in it before, and still the BBC wont fix it. Poor Scott had to climb through the window to a random room, then through another window to the ladies room. Someone texts in saying of course the BBC wont fix it, its radio gold everytime!

<b>Scott's Wallet is Being Held to Ransom</b>

Remember a while ago, Scott played the honesty game... but included the public in it. He dropped his wallet with £50 in it, and the studio number for them to phone him up, testing if the public were honest or not. Nadia, the girl who found the wallet, wouldnt give him it back without him giving her ID! How rude. She starts to leg it down the street while Scott shouts down the phone "Im losing her". Proper Taggart this. Since then, Nadia and Scott have spoken a few times, and she still wont give it back. She dirves a hard bargain, but shes smart, you gotta give her that. He's got her on the phone again and she has a proposition for him: "I'll give you your wallet, your £50, and an extra £50 on top of that, if you get Bono to sing to me". A poor attempt from Scott to get a Bono sound-a-like on the phone fails. She catches him out again. I imsgine Scott still wants his wallet, listen out for developments!

<b>In Other News...</b>

Some other banter on todays show including French Simpsons, Flirt Divert, the Twang's rider at Reading and Leeds (it really is a treat, lads!) and our innuendo bingo fo today - Sally Traffic: "Something just got snatched there".

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*For legal reasons, it may not actually be a date, and nor is Shayne Ward gay. Thank you.</SIZE>