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Fergie’s guesting Scott kicked off the show with the news that Fergie would be coming on to the show this afternoon. And that didn’t mean the Duchess of York or, as Chappers thought it might be, Sir Alec, but member of the Black Eyed Peas who’s just released her new single, Glamorous. Incidentally, the star of Scott’s new favourite TV show, ITV 2’s Australian Princess, Kylie Booby, had been equally confused, thinking that one of the show’s judges, Jane Ferguson (the Duchess’ sister), was in fact sister to the pop star. Intellectually challenged? Maybe just a little then… Jo Whiley – Radio 1’s new pop star It’s the final day of Chris Moyles’ Rallyoke Tour and it’s been a winner. Jo Whiley got into the spirit last night, donning a nurses outfit to sing S Club’s Reach. Scott reckons that Jo’s now been offered a record deal on the back of last night’s rendition – and so we await her first album with anticipation...... Fergie v Scott – the domesticity challenge In his interview with Fergie, we actually learned quite a lot about Scott and how completely brilliant he is domestically. Fergie is lucky enough not to have to do her own laundry…… and um.... nor does Scott – but he does have an excuse. Apparently he bought too big a dishwasher when fitting his kitchen, which meant that he could only buy a tiny washing machine. So that’ll be everything off to the laundrette then. When it comes to cooking, Fergie’s a bit of a fan…. but Scott claims errr, he can’t cook. He says he does do a spot of cleaning though – but we’re not quite sure how much. So who wins? Rallyoke Idol Scott asked Fergie to play ‘Simone’ Cowell (and he’d be Paula Abdul) in a Pop Idol stylee competition featuring the Radio 1 DJs' performances over the last week. First up was Sara Cox. Fergie couldn’t work out whether she was listening to man or a woman so Scott put her straight. The verdict was that Coxy was very ‘Cher-like’, with a strong voice and obviously very talented. Next up was Chris Moyles and Louis Walsh, who Fergie thought both gave a very passionate performance. Last up was Aled and Joss from the Breakfast Show, with Joss’ dulcet tones needing to be heard to be believed. With Fergie’s mantra ‘the best is always the worst’, Joss proved victorious and won the coveted title of Rallyoke Idol. Damien Rice on Ice Scott’s got a new plan and he’s quite excited about it. He wants to mix a bit of ice with singer Damian Rice for, you’ve guessed it, ‘Damian Rice on Ice’. Natalie from Newsbeat put it to Christopher Dean who thinks it’s a great idea. He said ‘Everything’s better on ice’, he said. So watch this space... Get me out of here! No celebrities in the jungle here, just Anna, who during the show earlier in the week had texted in for help escaping from a date she wasn’t enjoying. All was well until Chappers inexplicably became her German grandmother on the phone. Scott was worried that her life had been ruined as she hadn’t answered her phone yesterday, despite numerous attempts from the team. The good news is that she’s fine – and she doesn’t hate Scott. And needless to say, she hasn’t heard from her date again.

desperate for publicity then......! That's my bet. That'll be me being a cynical PR lass!

role models even...... but I guess they probably do enjoy a good roll!

who's it sponsored by? they would have been picked due get the sponsor maximum coverage but agree they're all pants roll models - davina eg would have been much better

Go for a traffic lights party. If you're wearing red, it means you're taken. Orange - you're not sure whether up for anything and red means go, go, go... - you're up for a big snog. I've been to a few and it always ends up in carnage!

Jono - what are you like?! I'm ashamed to say that in the winter I do let things get out of control but as soon as the sun shines it's an everyday thing. And armpits too - and as for the rest ;-) Do any boys shave their chests?

Karaoke – a class act? The show kicked off with Scott announcing two contenders for Chris Moyles’ Rallyoke competition in aid of Comic Relief. Will and Paul’s rendition of James Blunt’s Wisemen (aided slightly by a microphone precariously dangling from the ceiling) was interesting, to say the least. The boys were pitted against Debbie from Cardiff, who sang an innovatively customized version of Cyndi Lauper’s Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun, accompanied by a dancing hamster and that all-important bopping flower. Scott invited listeners to vote for their favourite to get a guaranteed place on stage at the Rallyoke event of their choice. Scott being Scott gave a third voting option too – that of ‘neither’ on account of both entries being just, well, awful. And you can guess which option came out top….. Will and Paul received just 20% of the vote, Debbie 25% and neither 55%. However, a winner was needed – so Debbie proved victorious and will sing live at the Swansea Rallyoke event. Coming soon to a screen near you BBC1’s new series of Castway - the show where contestants get flung onto a distant desert island and try to survive for three months – is back on. Scott played the TV trailer on air, which is a tad bizarre to say the least. It goes something like this: “You’re stranded on a remote beach somewhere in the Pacific. Your fellow castaway has been stung by a jellyfish on the scrotum. Someone has to treat the wound….” Which is nice. Not. Do we get to see this? (Personally I’d have to say no thanks). Anyway, how do they know? Can they see into the future? Is this going to an ‘accident’ staged for the err… delight of the viewing public? TV reality shows seem to be getting nastier by the minute! So thirteen people have been picked to be the island’s castaways. For three months they’ll have to fend for themselves on Great Barrier Island. Although the producers have got together to make their stay as gruelling as possible, making for great viewing, Scott’s really really disappointed by the lack of eye-candy there seems to be. Where’s Shipwrecked’s Lianne when you need her? He wants beach babes and bronzed torsos and suggested there should be an island swap with the Shipwrecked crew. Now there’s an idea – throwing two or more TV reality shows into one and seeing what happens. Takers, anyone? More bodily fluids and disgusting habits….. Over the last few weeks we’ve heard some horrific stories from listeners and Scott has promised this will be the last time. Emily rang in to tell us about one of her colleagues who constantly picks his nose in full view of the whole office. And if picking that isn’t enough, he actually has a place to store his newly picked crop of bogies – on the side of his filing cabinet. Nice. Just imagine - his whole collection of dried bogies artistically arranged for visiting clients to get a full frontal view of during meetings with him. We also heard from Pete, who told us about his office cleaner. Apparently the cleaner has just one cloth he uses to clean the whole office and in a stroke of pure genius, he always starts by cleaning the toilets. So, with the cloth that has just wiped toilet bowls and urinals, the cleaner then moves onto the kitchen, making sure that all the surfaces, microwave, plates and cups are well covered with all the nice germs. Well – that’s hygiene for you. Or not, as the case may be. Laura’s boyfriend – away at a ‘conference’ Laura was a bit worried today. Her boyfriend James is supposedly in at a work conference and he’s not answering his mobile. Scott didn’t think Laura should be checking up on him whilst he’s away but seeds of doubt seemed to get the better of her and she’d decided earlier in the day to ring the hotel to see whether said boyfriend had been behaving himself. Being Mr Mischeivious, Scott decided to get involved. Calling on his friend from Celebrity Scissorhands and ex Dynasty actress Emma Samms, Laura’s phone call was set to go horribly wrong. With Emma posing as the hotel receptionist, Laura asked whether James had been seen, and if he’d had a double room booked. Emma told her that not only had James checked out that morning with a blonde lady on his arm, he’d also ordered room service last night, consisting of two club sandwiches, a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Poor Laura, you could almost hear her heart drop on air. Luckily none of it was true and Scott’s now in the proverbial doghouse. Radio 1 DJs – dropping like flies Following her Aikido accident last week, Mary Anne Hobbs is feeling much better and will be back on this evening. Eddie Halliwell meanwhile has taken a tumble, falling out of his DJ box, and tearing all his ligaments. So he’ll be doing tonight’s show on crutches. They’re an accident prone lot! The last from Wedding Stories? The gang are still in disbelief that there won’t be another series of their favorite show, BBC3’s Wedding stories. Reliving their favourite moments, Scott called for the programme’s commissioners to change their mind. Go on, pleeeeeeeeeease…..

Fraser, the err…. comedian Fraser, Scott’s flatmate and comedian-in-waiting, is three days into his quest to heal the world through the power of laughter by the end of the week. The only problem being is that there hasn’t probably been much healing so far. Last night saw Fraser’s third appearance in as many nights at the Comedy Café in East London sporting a suit belonging to none other than esteemed comedy pro, Lenny Henry. Did it bring him the luck that Fraser, according to Scott, so desperately needed? Along with the suit, Scott had thrown into the frame an electric shock collar (apparently a training aid for the nosier members of the canine population, not something from the S&M underworld). The idea being that Fraser would wear said collar during his performance and Scott could deliver his beloved flatmate a short sharp shock if laughter was shortcoming. That’s true love for you, we think. Only the club management said no, the collar was ‘barbaric’, and Fraser would have to rely on his wit and banter to entertain his audience. Scott had invited Mock the Week’s Russell Howard on to the show to review Fraser’s performance and offer any tips for his last shot at comedy stand-up, set for Friday night. Scott - the news anchorman Sparked off by the news that Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson are expecting their first baby, Scott wants a big news wall, à la Sky News, in the studio. We’re not sure what the graphic for this story would actually look like, but hey, he’s got all the sound effects of a bustling newsroom down to a tee, and Chappers is up for doing the weather. Which is probably more than Sky’s incumbent weatherman, Francis Wilson, who seems to have lost interest in his metier, forecasting ‘weather’ in the north and a bit more ‘weather’ in the east. Which is helpful. And it’s over to Russell…. So, back to Russell, comedy maestro. Watching back the beginning of the gig at the Comedy Café, he reckoned Fraser looks a little swamped in Lenny’s suit (not really having height on his side), looking more like ‘a big gay fish’. Not the best start, maybe, but Fraser seemed undeterred. His opening gambit was a play on his youthful looks, but which proceeded into slightly dodgy territory, ending him sounding a bit like a sex offender. Ooops. The rest of the routine was too blue to be aired on daytime radio and needless to say, Fraser didn’t last long. Russell added that the best heckle he’d ever seen was at the Ashton Court festival, where fellow stand-up Rob was actually urinated on mid-gig. Scott really hopes that this doesn’t happen to Fraser. Breaking News…. In his new role as news anchorman, Scott reported that fellow Radio 1 DJ Mary Anne Hobbs had been injured in an Aikido accident. Thinking that Aikido might be a bit similar to Feng Shui, both him and Chappers hoped that Mary Anne hadn’t been over-zealous in moving her sofa around the flat in order to maximise its energy potential. Both of them realised that they’d been possibly a little flippant and unsympathetic on receiving texts from Radio 1 listeners informing them that Aikido is actually a powerful and skilful martial art, and standing corrected they wished Mary Anne a speedy recovery. And it’s back to BBC3’s Wedding Stories… It’s the team’s favourite TV show, and there’s just one episode left. Rumour has it that, to their horror, there isn’t going to be a second series, so watch this space for an all-out Mills campaign to get Series Two in to production. We’re with ex-girl band member Christine and carpet fitter Seylan as they finalise the last details of their forthcoming nuptials. Above all, they ‘don’t want anything too tacky’. Hmmmm. The cake is set to have nine tiers, all covered in diamonds (edible, we hope) and draped in oodles of fairy lights. So not tacky then. And as for the reception, think Christine reclining on a pink Royals Royce, a goods lift and a dramatic entrance….. So really not tacky at all. Really. Richard and Laura, as committed Christians, have both saved themselves for their wedding night. We’re with Laura as she’s buying her lingerie for this very special time but it’s her choice of shopping partner – her mum – that’s a little perturbing. The team aren’t sure that mums should be privy to such intimate details. On having herself measured, and finding that she’s an E cup, Laura finds that she’s ‘crossed the line to (having) enormous breasts’. Laura from the show, however, is having none of it. A G cup herself, Laura reckons she knows nothing! Finally – it’s the NME Awards Jo Whiley’s reporting from the venue about the awards later this evening. And she’s wearing no knickers! Hurrah! We’re loving Jo. With Jo and Edith on site, Radio 1 will have all the news and back stage gossip tomorrow.

<b>Is Scott a reformed character?</b> It’s the day after the Brits and lo and behold, Scott isn’t sporting a hangover from hell. Despite having gone to the awards and two after parties, Scott was very proud to tell us that he drank lots of wine (naturally) and loads of water (good boy). Not only did he behave himself all night but went for a run this morning. Is this the new clean(ish) living Scott that we all know and love? How long is it going to last? Should we be running a book? <b>Wags at the heart of the music industry</b> Scott had the pleasure of sitting next to a Wag during the ceremony. Not only did she spend the whole time applying her lipstick as the awards were being given out, she also showed a startling knowledge of all the bands and artistes by er… not recognizing any of them. Luckily Scott was on hand to help guide her through the cream of British music. <b>More from the Brits</b> Other Brits gossip includes Liam having stolen Blanche from Corrie’s sunglasses. We hope he asked her first. Also, we heard about Stephen Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith showing diplomacy of UN proportions as far as the new cover of his original 'Walk this Way' in aid of Comic Relief was played to him. "It's for charity," he mused. Rather worryingly, Chappers mentioned that he thought that Stephen’s long hair and make up could easily confuse "a heterosexual man" after a few pints of ale. Scott wondered whether Chappers was trying to tell us something. Does he actually fancy Stephen? Could this be the start of something beautiful? Watch this space.... Scott also managed to lose his trousers. Unfortunately there was nothing suspect about this; he’d had to change into his suit and had left his clothes in a bag in the Radio 1 studio on site. His bag had then gone AWOL - but only temporarily. They’ve been located and both owner and said trousers have been emotionally reunited. <b>Mums Matchmaking Inc</b> Gemma rang in. She’d gone for what she thought would be a nice gals-night-out-drink with her mum the previous evening. When her mum kept disappearing, Gemma found out to her horror, that she'd collared some men drinking at the other side of the pub in order to get Gemma a date. She’d even left a mobile phone number so they could call over the next few days. Gemma had never been so embarrassed in life. Mum thinks that her matchmaking is nothing short of proactive but Scott and Chappers agree with Gemma thinks that mum’s behaviour is just wrong. Really wrong! But she’s not alone. The next caller told us that her mum would go searching the pubs trying to find her three daughters husbands. Carrying a photo of all three of her offspring, mum thought nothing of giving out her daughter’s number to any young man she thought could be a good husband in-the-making. A well intentioned strategy perhaps - but clearly not right. The next call came from Kristen, who told us about an evening she'd had with her mum in Las Vegas. They'd been having a drink in a Kyote Ugly stylee joint and after a few, Kristen had jumped up on to the bar to shake her booty. Dancing away, suddenly someone shouted at her "great pair of boobs" at which point everyone startied clapping - even to Kristen's horror - her mum. Eughhh! Scott now wants to do the show from the same bar in Vegas. It appears however that Kyote Ugly type establishments are springing up everywhere. From Derby and Mansfield to Stevenage, he might be finding himself slightly closer to home. <b>Lube Anyone?</b> It's the gang's favourite TV show - BBC 3's Wedding Stories. The couple of the week had to be Peter and Carlton, a gay couple getting hitched in a civil ceremony. All was going to plan, until it came to the time to exchange rings. You'd hope that the rings had been fitted prior to the service, but for Peter and Carlton, it seemed not to have been the case. So what do you do if a ring doesn't fit? Simple. Just ask (quite loudly) if anyone has any lube. Yes. Lube. That's LUBE. At a wedding. Exactly the place you'd take your lube if you had any. Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Lube?...... We've yet to find out what happened next, but you can rest assured we're all holding our breath.

<b>BBC1’s Holiday takes an interesting twist</b> Thursday’s show kicked of with a clip from Wednesday night’s BBC1 Holiday programme. Whilst watching it, Scott had been just a little perturbed by presenter Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen’s conversation about what we think was his, er…hat. In his deep honeyed tones Lawrence described his ‘brim’ was being ‘lovingly fingered’ with ‘thumbs of experience’. Is he presenting the right show? <b>Will the Radio 1 girls combine for a new ring tone?</b> Earlier in the day, Edith had taken to the slopes of Primrose Hill which had become a snowy playground to sledgers, skiers and of course, the Radio 1 team. Edith, of course, had to have a go and her screams of ‘I’m coming’ as she whizzed down the hill on her sledge made for more than a match for those from Jo on her infamous roller coaster experience. Scott and Chappers wanted to combine the two girls to create the ring tone to end all ring tones – but were just a bit unsure whether the Radio 1 mobile crew would go there! <b>Chappers takes the bait</b> Scott has become such a good liar that he even managed to dupe Chappers. Scott told us that Laura’s boyfriend had his first ever experience of snow yesterday – and was obviously blatantly excited - but he had not been allowed to enjoy it because Laura was just plain mean. Despite asking where Laura’s boyfriend ‘had been all his life’ (that’ll be Chichester then), oh my God he did believe it. Scott’s cover was blown when Daniel rang in and busted him – winning him the concert tickets. <b>What is it? What is it? What is it?</b> Well, there’s a question for you. Scott’s love of BBC Radio Norfolk continues, especially as far as presenter Sue Marchant is concerned. The competition from Sue’s show – called as you might have guessed - What is it? What is it? What is it? – had stumped her Norfolk listeners so Scott put Sue’s question to the nation: “it’s/they’re sometimes misleading and I keep bumping into them?” Chappers’ suggestion of ‘dogs’ led Scott to worry a bit about Chappers regularly crashing into members of the canine population, but we can see the lead – or lack of one – connection Chappers, so don’t worry. Scott reckons that everyone should text her with the answer ‘boobs’. We await the next instalment – and hopefully the answer - on Friday. <b>Scott’s got a crush on...</b> Scott admitted that he fancies Sue! She had given him a shout out the previous evening, saying that she thought that Scott had a bit of a ‘thing’ for her and indeed Scott came clean saying that he thought she was actually quite hot. Radio 1’s most persistent listener – Lindsay from Leeds –rang in again to accuse Scott of lying in order to get her Kaiser Chiefs tickets – to no avail though. It’s true – Scott’s got a bit of a crush on! <b>A beg for cash</b> A big fan of the show, it seems that Stewart is set to storm the film world. Scott gave him a call to hear about his new venture, which turns out to be the creation of the next film to grip the likes of Hollywood. Describing the film as ‘the modern cult of the celebrity chef meets the 80’s blockbuster’ it seems that Stewart could be on to a winner. Hmmm. The climax is set to be, yes, an omelette cook-off with a Japanese chef wearing a black apron. Under Siege eat your heart out! Although an incy bit sceptical, Scott gave a shout out to anyone who might have £100 million to spare to help fund Stewart’s plans. So, to any potential investors out there, you know the number… <b>Laura’s disappointment at the speed of light</b> Laura had gone to see David Blaine at the theatre the previous evening to see him “travel at the speed of light”. Now there’s a good trick if we’ve ever seen one. But it wasn’t. Basically Blaine had been performing a card trick in the middle of the stage, which culminated in him throwing the cards into the audience. Then suddenly the audience saw him running across the other side of the stage, apparently having travelled there at the speed of light. It turns out that it was a hologram of the great magician centre stage throughout the whole trick, allowing him to do the running bit at the end. Laura thought it was a rubbish trick and we guess won’t be recommending it to any of her friends.

I'm good for Wednesdays and Fridays on a regular basis - would LOVE to help!